Cloud Strife

Shanghai Dolly

2010-04-26T23:49:00.002+08:00

I have been hanging out at Shanghai Dolly quite a lot recently, ever since the incident with Fate. Been there on Wed, Fri and Sat nites. It doesn't help that 1 of the singers there look uncannily like her. And when she sings 感动天感动地, i'll always be reduced to a wreck.

I quite like the atmosphere there, similar to Dragonfly, and I guess this is where all the Dragonfly crowd went. The crowd is kinda ah beng or rather, lao beng though. (Yea, lao beng like me) But Eugene's going Shanghai for the next couple of mths, so 1 less khaki to hang out at Dolly for the next few months.

Been talking to JZ online quite a lot recently, mainly coz of my incident with Fate. I've been in a rather foul mood at work for the past 2 weeks. My temper's been rather short lately, and I kind of flared up at her last week. I knew she's angry immediately after I scolded her, and AML msn me to confirm it. I think if it were me in the past, I would just like it be and heck the relationship. But somehow I went out during lunchtime to get flowers and card for her to apologize. I guess she mean something to me afterall.

I have not taken anyone into confidence for a long time, much less a colleague. But if I'm still not going to talk to someone abt it, I think I'll burst.

感动天感动地

2010-04-26T21:44:00.001+08:00

Every heartbreak has a song. I guess this is it.

感动天感动地

一开始我以为爱本来会很容易
所以没有经过允许就把你放心底
直到后来有一天你和他走在一起
我才发现原来爱情不是真心就可以

我感动天感动地怎么感动不了你
明明知道没有结局却还死心塌地
我感动天感动地怎么感动不了你
总相信爱情会有奇迹都是我骗自己

以为自己不再去想你
保持不被刺痛的距离
就算早已忘了我自己
却还想要知道你的消息

Wretched Life

2010-04-16T00:22:00.003+08:00

Welcome Wretched Life, once again, all over again, this is it again.

For how long have I seek to avoid this feeling, so much so that whenever I'm gonna sink it, I always pull myself out. Coz I know this all too familiar miserable feeling, know it too well I should say.

Why did you hold me back when I wanted to leave, knowing full well that you're gonna get attached soon? Why.

There's just so much frustration in me, consuming me. What do you want of me now? How can I still look at you without feeling the ache in my heart? I know heart ache. There is really such a thing as heart ache. It feels as though your heart is being squeezed, gripped by the hands of fate and given a tight squeeze. I experienced it years ago.

I'm paying the price again, but I'll see the light again.

I believe I have earned the right to leave.

"Got every right to wanna leave
Got every right to wanna go
Got every right to hit the road
And never talk to me no more
You don't even have to call
Even check for me at all
Because the way I've been acting lately
Has been off the wall"

Fate again?

2010-03-20T17:05:00.003+08:00

I think the blogosphere has grown a bit foreign for me. I rem the time when only my frens actually view and leave comments on my entries. But I've gotten numerous comments for my previous Fate entry. This just seemed so weird??? I feel kinda exposed. haha.

Anyway, for the benefit of those who are wondering, I did go out with her for a few more times. It's usually something short like a simply dinner after work. Well, we'll see how it goes.

I just got back from Jakarta. The trip was for business, as the president of a certain country is supposed to visit Jakarta. It got postponed while I was there, essentially making it a wasted trip in the business sense. Personally, all the better for me since I get a free trip. =)

Fate

2010-02-23T00:04:00.003+08:00

After what seemed like forever, I think I finally went out on a date again.

It wasn't supposed to be a date initially i think, just hanging out for coffee or sth. End up she has not had dinner yet, and I was kinda at a lost at where to take her for dinner. FYI, I have not taken a gal out in the dating sense, for at least 2 years. My knowledge of nice places to visit are all at least 2 years old, and if fortunate, still standing.

So at the last min, I pulled Dempsey Road out of my top hat. I think a few yrs ago, not many pple would have heard of Dempsey Road, but it seems like common knowledge now. Turns out she's been to the Ben & Jerry at Dempsey before. Anyway, I took her to Oosh which has not failed to impress before (I only ever took 1 gal there b4 and she was impressed. Still that counts as 1 out of 1 rite?), until that nite. Turns out the outdoor section is closed, i guess due to it being Sunay nite, and we got an indoor seat with a "nice window view" but it was nite and we basically can't see shit. The food was bad. Little and tasteless. There goes Oosh as the secret weapon.

We went over to Ben & Jerry for waffles after that. Quaint little (actually it was quite big) place which sells a bit of everything. There's a small counter selling t-shirts n other nonsense, a bar counter, a live band section, n of coz ice-cream. It was still early after Ben & Jerry, so we drove to Holland V where we had a bit of drinks at Wala Wala. She told me quite a lot about herself, her past relationships, family, etc

We left at ard midnite and I drove her home. Was thinking that I shd give her a goodnite kiss, like how it always happened in the shows but just dun know how to go abt doing it. I wanted to walk her up (but it'll be weird to kiss her outside her door anyway), but she said it wasn't necessary. And the angle's a bit weird to attempt a kiss in the car as well. So end up with just a "goodbye and seeya again" kinda stuff. Lame.

I'm Back

2010-01-10T02:50:00.001+08:00

Hi guys, i'm back... 2010

First Entry For 2009

2009-08-06T03:43:00.003+08:00

Lo and behold! Here I am again... more than 1 year after my last entry.

So many things to talk about. I just read thru several of my previous entries which i blogged during the salsa period. I'm currently retired from salsa again. I think my last dance was on a Sat nite some time back in Oct 07. Jojo and I have been together for close to 2 years now.

A lot happened in 2009. 4th auntie passed away shortly after CNY. She was diagnosed with cancer sometime back in Dec of last year. It was fast - within 3 mths, it was over. My heart just broke when I was visiting her in the hospital. She was closest to us among all our relatives. She helped out me n my bro a lot for our uni fees. And before I can start repaying her, she's not there anymore. I rem while trying to get to sleep 1 nite, I just had this sudden emotion that our family is no longer complete. Grandma left in 2006. and now she left. I can still rem them so vividly while they were still ard.

I also cleared my final ICT this 2009. Now I've officially MR (Mindef Reserves) and been presented with the Hamilton watchh. After exactly 10 years of shit, I finally have ntg to do with the army anymore. If I ever have to wear Long 4 again, it means sth seriously wrong has happened.

National Day's approaching. Shishi is leaving for the states for further education 1 day after National Day. Personally, I feel it'll be a waste of time. Nonetheless, we'll be sending her off at the airport. 5am flight. Bah!

Olympics Beijing 2008

2008-07-29T22:22:00.000+08:00

Heard this news on radio on my way to work this morning. Olympics Beijing 2008 is schedule to start in a week’s time, and apparently the traffic congestion and pollution problem in Beijing is gonna be sth to concern with.

When interviewed, Beijing residents said that they are happy and in favor of the Olympics being held in Beijing, and as a sign of their passion, they will heed state advice and stay indoors as much as they can during the Olympics duration.

All non-Olympics related profession is apparently on official holiday, and the pple are encouraged to visit other states for holidays, in an attempt to reduce the number of pple in the city.

Earlier on, Beijing has implemented a traffic control scheme; whereby cars of odd and even plate number are only allowed use the highways on alternate days. However, the situation now has worsened until almost 90% of personal cars are not allowed on the highways during the Olympic duration.

I’ve ever been to Beijing a couple of times, and true enough, these 2 areas are where they need to work on. I rem a dinner apptment which my vendor, which took me 2 hrs to reach the venue, in spite of them sending a car to pick me.

So much for the Olympics…

28 Years Old

2008-07-20T15:49:00.002+08:00

Spent my birthday weekend in Genting with Jojo, thinking I could use some birthday luck. Sad to say, it din work too well... =(

We been together for close to a year now, just 2 more mths to Sep 23. =)

Looking forward to every weekend, work simply does not have any appeal for me right now. My boss dislike the way I work n I dislike pretty much everything abt him. This doesn't work out too good for me, considering my performance and advancement in the company is highly dependent on this individual.

Time to look for a way out...

Bu Neng Shuo De Mi Mi

2008-02-17T07:30:00.001+08:00

What to do when you find out something which u're not supposed to know? Sometimes ignorance can really be bliss...

Weddings

2007-12-27T14:34:00.000+08:00

Recently I attended Daphne's wedding at Rasa Sentosa Hotel. Yes, the same Daphne whom Eugene was head over heels for some years back. So far, I've attended quite a few fren's wedding; Regina, James, Hilda, Kim Long, Jason, and this time Daphne. But this time there is a slight difference - difference in my status. All the other times, I was single.

Actually, my perception of marriage and weddings are pretty warped ever since I knew Min was marrying Alvin. I dislike the notion of getting married. I have heard more than enough of the sweet and romantic reasons for getting married, but perceived thru my realist view, it just seemed like it's sth to just get it over and done with. To obtain a status recognised by the law, with someone whom you think you can live with. I have not tot of settling down ever since that. Sometimes I even think that I would prob not get married my whole life.

This wedding stirred up some different emotions.

As I watched the video clips of the groom going to fetch the bride at her place, I started wondering if I'd ever have the chance to do this. Being the groom. Sometimes when my imginations are loose, I'd imagine myself in wedding situations, but I'm always part of the brothers gang. Nv the groom himself. I tot abt who my brothers gang would comprise of. Prob Hanxi, Eugene, Lewis, etc.

I imagined myself taking all that the sisters gang can throw at us, cos I would not allow anything to stop me from marrying Joanne.

I imagined us walking on the red carpet, to the tunes of the wedding march.

I imagined us drinking our nuptial wines.

Sometimes life makes fun of us all. I belittle the notion of wedding when all this could happen to me. Now I can only imagine how it would be like beacuse it wun happen for us. It wun be special for her; hence it wun be special for me.

Injury-plagued Xiaohei Part 2

2007-12-26T12:54:00.000+08:00

It was supposed to be a simple nite of shopping and Xmas decor viewing at Orchard Road, and we made the unfortunate choice of Far East Shopping Center for our carpark. Sth rather amusing happened. Joanne has some vouchers for Isetan Scotts and we were hoping to go redeem it. Somehow, we made our way to Wisma only to learn that we can't redeem it there as it's stated Isetan Scotts only. We backtrack in search of Isetan Scotts and were pondering how we can miss this detail, and to realise that Scotts shopping center has actually been demolised!

So what happened was our brain automatically processed the next nearest Isetan to be our supposed destination when we could not find Scotts shopping center in the first instance when we pass by what used to be it's location. Anyway, ended up we have to redeem the vouchers at Isetan Shaw House.

When all's done, next came the retrieval of the car at the top floor of Far East Shopping Center carpark. Upon going down the first slope, I did my normal cornering and everything seemed to be going as usual until I heard a disgusting scratching sound which turned into such of a crunching sound. SCREEEGH ~

The rear door on the right side was wedged into the edge of a fucking pillar. I tried to reverse myself out and this causes the door to be further dented in. After much effort to minimise the damage to unwedge myself, I earned myself a $200 respray and repair cost. The spray job was a little fucked-up as well, and it leaves small little bumps on the lower portion of the resprayed door.

Oh well, what luck.... =(

Injury-plagued Xiaohei

2007-11-18T15:38:00.000+08:00

A spate of unfortunate events befall Xiaohei recently. Within a month, he's sustained 1 minor and 1 major injury. The carpark at the following 2 places are at the top of my blacklist now: Pearl Center and Far East Shopping Center.

There is a disgusting steep slope leading up to the carpark at Pearl Center. And better still, the gantry does not use ERP style of entry. It requires u to stop and insert the bloody cashcard. I overshot the cashcard device and gotta reverse to the damned device. After all's done, I tried going forward and found my car going backwards instead. The Honda Civic behind then decide to horn me to add to my confusion. Well.. dunno what shit went thru my mind and for a while, I tot I was driving a manual car. Being stuck on a slope with ur manual car sliding backwards? The only thing to do - jam the accelerator.

WHAM!

End of story.

The consequence is a payment of $76 for the Honda Civic to change it's number plate which was bent, and a series of emails on whether or not the money transfer was received.

The 2nd incident at the condemned Far East Shopping Center carpark is even more heart-wrenching. To be continued..

Meeting On Board SQ805

2007-09-02T03:46:00.000+08:00

The scene was n board SQ805 bound for Shanghai, on the morning of 30th August 2007. I had forgotten to put a pen in my laptop bag and needed 1 to fill up the numerous departure forms which were needed by China Custom. I was checking out the babe sitting behind me who's also furiously filling up her departure forms, thinking of borrowing her pen and possibly strike up a conversation. Along came a stewardess, noticing my plea for sth and offered her assistance.

"Can I help?" Stewardess

"Eh... can I borrow a pen from you?" Me

"Sure, here you go." Stewardess (handing me her pen)

As we look each other in the eyes, the fleeting moment of recognition registered in my mind. Before I can say anything, she goes...

"Andy Kwa" Stewardess (And she walked away)

Memories. Memories. Memories. If my thoughts can be viewed like in Dumbledore's pensieve, it'll look like this:

2001
She was 16. I was 21.
She whom I met at the old Ridley's at ANA Hotel.
She whom immortalize the song "Once In A Lifetime" as THE romantic clubbing song.
She whom I wrote a 500 word essay to tell her y I like her.
She whom I left behind at Orchard Cineleisure, because I swore to myself not to let any more gals step over me.
She whom ask me to tuition her for her O Levels.
She whom I kiss.
She whom I bought a mango cake, 12 red roses and 2 love devils for her birthday.

故事的最后结局,结束在那年冬季,孤独的冰冷风里.

It was kind of nice to meet her again this way. She did give me a bit of preferential treatment throughout the flight. The first time I finally a familiar stewardess on my flights.

Emergence of Xiaohei

2007-08-25T16:08:00.000+08:00

It's been a while.... Hahaha.

I'm back on the blogging scene again. For the past month, my working hours took a drastic plunge for the worst. Tot that now that I've got a car, leaving office after work should be a case of pure bliss (minus the bus waiting, hot stuffy bus ride, standing in the mrt, 1.5 hr journey back home, etc). Who knows I end up staying later and later every day. And worse still, now that I don't need to claim taxi fare home, I ended up not keeping track of my overtime meal allowance as well. Bah!

Social life-wise (no, I have not been picking up cais), it wasn't much of a diff. Prob cos I have not been salsa-ing much nowadays. My new salsa grp sorta split after Akder went back to India. Thinking back to the days when we all have the thinking that having a car would make picking up chicks so much easier. Not too true though, or maybe I just have not been putting it to this particular use. Haha.

Well, I did go out with Jer more often nowadays. I brought her to Oosh at Dempsey Road, and she was totally ecstatic about the place. Subsequently, we went out a few more times, to Union, to Upper Club, Holland V, etc. She did tell me that she feels that I've gotten more confident now that I have a car (She calls it Xiaohei). I dunno how true this is. But it's true that I would not have initiate to ask gals out last time, like how I asked Jer out not. Even gals whom I'm interested in. And no, I dun feel like I'm going after her, well, not now anyway.

Sth funny happened 1 time when we were at JP. We were just talking abt me having not gone to Union for some time, and who I wana meet there, when just out of nowhere, Yumin appeared in front of us. I was stun beyond words, and just managed to mutter "Hi" before we walked away. I knew Yumin felt that I've always sort of like Jer, cos she did tell me last time that she notice I only dance with Jer at Union last time. And that was during the time when I sort of dun do salsa. It's been so long since I talk to Yumin. We dun even talk on msn now. There was 1 Fri nite when I went to Union with Jer, and happened to see Yumin there with her Bugs. I was sitting alone at the sofa with my back to the pool table. I knew she was behind me, and I saw her silhouette walking towards where I was sitting. Instinctively, I just stood up and walk away, without looking back. I dun know if she was walking over to talk to me, but I just did not want to talk to her just yet. Let the silence continue.

Back to Jer... sometimes I think I'm seeing shadows of Min in her also. Both have abt the same kind of family background, the same profession, the same streak of rebellious-ness, the same bit of Siao Charbor mentality sometimes. We were in my car 1 time, and it happened to play Sammi's song Bu Shang Xin. This is like my song for Min, reminding me always of the times we were together; the sweet times when we love each other to bits, the bitter times when she left me for Marcus. Jer told me she love the song also. Not many pple even know of the song I believe.

Happy Birthday To Me!

2007-07-14T09:14:00.000+08:00

Ok, a bit late to wish myself happy birthday rite now... but who cares. Anyway, it fell on a Thur which does not seem to have any celebratory feel surrounding it. Thur - the majority of the week behind it and 1 more day to the last day of the week. It somehow seemed to be the most draggy day day of the week. The day where u feel like the time seem not to move while u're in ur office.

Anyway, had a mini gathering with my JC folks. Eugene, Lewis, Duckie and Sandy at Union Square. Nobody of the usual gang there AT ALL. They must have just celebrated Miss Tng's birthday the day b4. Just as well, if not I'd might be forced to do a birthday dance. They bought me a real creamy chocolate cake, (dead giveaway that it's my birthday ya?). We played silly games to finish up the cake and taught Duckie and Sandy to dance towards the end of the nite.

Babe bought me a little cake the next day. =) Din expect that though.

Thanks to Rongyan, Kaixin and Huihui who remembers. Love you, babes!

Best I Ever Had

2007-07-03T00:39:00.000+08:00

Today I danced with Cranberry again. After 2 weeks. She's the first gal whom I feel like dancing with song after song after song. Everybody talks abt the so-called chemistry when they identified a person whom they so love to dance with. I din understand it then. I guess I do now.

Cranberry - best I ever had. I know she like this song

Best I Ever Had

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely

Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Ran away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

End Of Countdown!

2007-07-03T00:33:00.000+08:00

End of countdown! Eh... actually the clock ticks down to 0 last Thur. Albeit much earlier than I expected. Yeah !!!!

The Clock Winds Down 1

2007-06-26T12:58:00.001+08:00

Day 3 of waiting. Tick tick tick....

Oh ya, my blog visitor counter hits 7777 today. =)

Commitment

2007-06-24T04:00:00.000+08:00

Today I made a huge life(style) changing decision and commitment that I ever done to date. Now, to really watch those expenditures from now on... sigh.

Babe Alert

2007-06-15T03:54:00.000+08:00

Finally. After 2 years. A babe in the office. =)

Midsummer Night's Dream

2007-06-06T20:26:00.000+08:00

Some pics from Midsummer Night's Dream at Fort Canning. Can't rem when was the last time I attended a play. My salsa grp decided to organise a picnic / play watching. Present are Suyin, Alanna, Jade, Shirley, Arkder and Sherman. Some other frens of frens joined us but can't really rem the names now. We're not the only salsa grp there as Jacelyn's grp was just situated right in front of us on the picnic ground. We were having the time of our life there with the picnic, that the play seemed like an after thought.

I think I like take up half the photo. From left: Sherman, myself, Shirley, Alanna, Jade and Suyin.

Sweet Dreams

2007-06-03T23:03:00.000+08:00

Yesterday nite I had a dream abt Cranberry. We were dancing, but our heads were awfully close, like when we were doing bachata. Then our heads got closer, and I kissed her slightly on her lips. I looked up and she was looking down with a bashful smile on her face. At that point in time, we knew we are together, and we are in so much bliss.

I awoke this morning, feeling all positive from my sweet dream. Even happier cos I'll be seeing Cranberry today.

We met and we parted and it seemed like just another ordinary day. Damn those dreams...

10 Reasons

2007-05-25T13:16:00.000+08:00

What I intended to blog for this entry undergo a last min change, when my other active browser which happen to be surfing Friendster realises that she's getting married soon.

She ever asked me, to give her 10 reasons y I like her.

"If I tell you, will u marry me?" I asked.

"I will consider." she said.

Usually I avoid such rhetorical questions. This is depicting love as a very methodological process, which is against my school of thought. I prefer giving a truly strong statement answer instead of making it like a 10 reasons thingy. But for her, I immediately took out a pen and tried to pen down 10 reasons, for liking her. Try as I might, I only manage 6.

Yesterday night while I was tossing in bed, it finally came to my mind how I should give her 1 true statement, which epitomises the feelings I felt with her. The literal words suddenly materialise in my head. I knew the feeling all the while, but I just can't formulate it in words. Till tonight.

I intend to blog it the first thing today, until the Friendster realisation. With that, I shall bury my love statement for her in my mind. Thou shalt not come to light no more.

All About Dance

2007-05-24T11:30:00.000+08:00

If I don't ask u to dance, I think u're too good n I don't dare to dance with you.

If u think u're good but yet I still ask u to dance, u're probably a close fren of mine.

If I don't ask u to dance, but u think u're not that good that I don't dare ask u to dance, I probably like u.

If I used to ask u to dance, but less freqeunt now, but u think u're not that good that I don't dare ask u to dance, I probably din like u last time but like u now.

If I did not dance with you last time, but now does, but u think that u're not that good that I dun dare to ask u to dance, it probably means I like u last time but not now.

Pls include ur name in the above categories if u feel u fall into any of the above.

Does any of this makes sense to u? Haha.

Back On Track

2007-05-17T13:06:00.000+08:00

Hah... been absent from blogging for the past month plus or so. Saw the bar chart of my blog views creeping lower n lower every week. The lack of scandalous scandals involving scantily clad scandilicious gals I guess. Nonetheless I'm back today to bore the shit out of u on the boring life that I'm leading right now.

My last post was abt my job.... so where has that led me to now?

Finally talked to my boss and I firmly put across my tots as to how I m NOT going to take up the role to lead the customer support team. And how I would like NOT to be utilised as a clerk/logistics/ops personnel. That saw my career path being put back on track a bit, with a recent trip to China for more meaningful purposes. Job change? I guess that's gotta wait for a while longer. I got a new goal now: Car ! But first to curb my spendthrift habit....

1) Less taxi trips! Looking back, I'm amazed at how I could drag my ass up every morning at 6am to take the hour plus long trip to work on public transport. I nv seem to be able to do it now on a consistent basis, explaining the rise in taxi expenditure. =( New motto: MUST LOVE MRT !

2) Stop taking the car! I've been thinking of cancelling my WhizzCar subscription, but to date have still been keeping it alive in case of emergency. (Well, I vow to cut down usage or maybe not even use it. So far this month I've only taken the car once. My week in Shanghai helps though)Incessant expenditure every month. N it's not as if there's any gal out there who is a must-send for my Union nites. Well no more now, since Piggy is gone.

What becomes of the broken hearted? Who hath love that's now departed.

So what happened? That must be on the paparazzi's mind cos suddenly, it just seems to die. They no longer observes anything because ntg's happening. So did anything even happen? Hell it did. I pulled the plug on myself. She gets the idea after a while. She no longer msg me on MSN, like how she used to. Even in Union, she seldom comes over to the sofa area now, except for the occasional dance with Johnny or Zhiguang. When we see each other it'll be just a smile. A meaningless smile. I wonder if she ever thinks abt what's behind the smile. The feelings behind the smile. I guess she doesn't. She's too happy with her Bugs and life now.

I'm fine. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Crossroad

2007-04-10T15:02:00.000+08:00

I might be approaching the crossroad in my career path very soon. Din expect this to come so soon though. If indeed the company is gonna assign me to take on the role which I heard thru the grapevines, I guess I will just have to pack up and leave.

So.... screw you guys, I'm going home ~ ~ ~

Beach Party And Club Party

2007-04-04T16:04:00.000+08:00

It seems I have quite a Salsa grp. A few of us organised an outing to Sentosa last Sat. Cafe Del Mar and basically just having fun on the beach. The few who went are Su Yin, Jade, Shirley, JH, and a guy called Vincent whom is supposed to be from their Beginner class.

It was a rainy affair the moment the stepped foot into Sentosa. Had a brief shelter at Cafe Del Mar, which is what used to be Sunset Bay. A very nice place indeed, though the dress code does seem a bit strange. You get guys who are dressed in fulll clubbing gear, n at the same time ladies in hot bikini attire. This place no doubt replaces KM8 as the new poseur hangout in Sentosa.

We played beach volley (and I even brought my pump! all cos of Shirley's airless volley ball!) and frisbee and were joined shortly after by the tall German babe from Bachata class. Oh yes, I took up Bachata. =) Shd have made the outing a bit earlier. We left Sentosa shortly after evening to have a 2nd round at Clarke Quay. We had our dinner eating this weird shape pizza at Harbor Front, where 1 slice is like 12 foot long.

Most favor the idea of going home to change first before going for our 2nd rd. I took the car and picked Shirley and we met the rest at Clarke Quay. MOS nite it's gonna be. Dear Suyin got tipsy on a hand-made vodka orange from 7-11.

Lost Handphone!

2007-03-26T11:02:00.000+08:00

So did I lose my hp? You must be wondering.... read on to find out.

So I was trying to get thru the day without my hp. I tot I had left it at home. Y? Because of the below reasons:

1) When I went back to the cab to search for it, the cabbie lent me his hp to call my number. My hp did not sound off in the cab.

2) I called my own number using my office phone. It was still on.

So this led me to believe I must have simply forgotten it when I left hse. After sometime, I tried calling my number again. It was off..... FUCK. Someone must have picked it up then. So I called to suspend my line, in case someone nut used my number to go support Jue Dui Superstar Diya (Wahahaha). Not cheap leh, God knows how many calls these fanatics will make.

So the first thing I did after work that day was to make a trip to Westmall to get a new hp. They only have 2 models of non-camera phones available, and 1 being the one that I lost (or did I??? =P). So I got the other hp, Motorola W220. A stylishly slim flip phone, with a rubber padding feel on the exterior (this hp seems built to withstand hard knocks) and a superbly kiddish screen (reminds me of Battle City on Nintendo). And while I was at it, I traded in my Nokia N6680 for a Sony Ericsson W800i. So happy with my 2 brand new purchases, I went on my way home.

Next surprise come when I sat down in front of my comp screen at home. Dear Linda has a msg for me. "Hey, your phone is with me". =

*STUMPED*

Why would my phone be with her ??? It so happens that the cabbie found my hp after that, and contacted Linda. (Why Linda? L is like in the middle of the phone list. This leads me to wonder how many pple he must have called b4 someone agrees to collect it for me....) Dear Linda is kind enough to go down to Leng Kee or somewhere near there to collect it for me. (For that, ya gonna get a kiss from me. *Muacks*) And so.... officially, I did not lose my hp after all.....

No Handphone!

2007-03-22T08:55:00.000+08:00

Hooray !! Today I'm gonna be a very peaceful man. I forgot to bring my hp to work. Eh... well, I hope it's I forgotten and left it at home. For a while, I tot I dropped it on the cab, but upon stopping the cab again and doing a brief search, it wasn't there. And the last time I checked, the phone was still on. Man, can't believe I actually forgot to bring it out. I usually do my 3 checks (wallet, hp, smokes) before I leave hse or go anywhere.

This has got to be the 1st time I actually forgotten my hp. Let's see how I can survive unconnected today in this connected world. =)

Wise Saying From Lala

2007-03-15T11:13:00.000+08:00

Lala said to find myself first; and then I'll know what I want. So where does this lead me?

Finding myself. Physically I'm located at my office desk currently. In a broader sense, I can be found (most of the time) in the northwestern part of Singapore, which is part of the continent of Asia, which belongs to the planet Earth, which is the 3rd planet from the Sun, in a galaxy known as the Milky Way, an infinitesimal portion of the boundless universe. (so much for finding myself)

I've nv been too particular abt the gal who I want to spend the rest of my life with. In the sense that I do not set too extreme limits or restrictions as to what type of gals r out of limit, not acceptable, etc. I used to believe that there r no such things as "wrong frequency". I still believe in that now, though I think that what some pple perceives as "wrong frequency" is actually more of a case of "wrong expectations".

And how does this wrong expectations come abt? This would mean that from the start, the guy is trying to be someone whom he isn't. To put up a facade, either to impress the gal, to mould himself into the kind of guy he tot the gal would like, or simply as a poseur. But he can't pose forever. So sooner or later, the real him would stealthly creep back into him, and the gal would detect traces of characrteristics that weren't there in the first place. Before long, the situation will deteriorate so badly that the guy is but a shadow of his former self (in the gal's opinion) and thus she will label him as "wrong frequency" or communication failure.

Well, I ever got caught in such a scenario b4, which made me abhor the idea of needing to be someone else in order to get the gal. I relish the idea of meeting a gal who is like Min, someone whom I can truely be myself and who will love me for being myself. I tot I found it in Piggy. Cos I really like how we click, not cos of how she looks. Seems fate has other plans for me though.

When I was younger, I would go for looks first (I'm a mighty realistic guy), and attempt to establish the flow with her later. A whack-first-see-how-later approach. As I grow up, all this doesn't seem to matter as much (I still like babes, just to set the records str =P), but I still end up without what I wanted. So you think what my msn nick says is true? 爱不爱都受煎熬

Replay?

2007-03-11T02:16:00.000+08:00

I guess some pple r not meant to be forgotten? (Wait, did I say this b4? Like some time back in Jul 05?) Today I brought Gillian to Union Square. The first time that we met up after the short stint in 2005. I rem the last time I saw her was to pass her her resume photo. That was just the 4th day I started work. Now I've worked for slightly more than 1 n a half yrs already. We fell out shortly after that. But it's strange that though we fell out, we're still keeping in contact. The price to pay being 1.5 yrs.

Back at the crossroad again. To let the sleeping lion lie? Or to let it wake? My feeling is telling me that there is still affinity between us. It isn't completely over yet. Those who know me will know how eerily true my feelings can be. She still uses the photo which I took for her at Indochime as her Frenster and msn pic. Sometimes I wish to think that that still means sth. (Fat hope, I guess) But at the same time, I feel that I'm not qualified to play this game already. If Fate gave u a 2nd chance n u screwed it up anyway, who r u to request for a 3rd chance?

Salsa Intermediate 1.5

2007-03-08T17:34:00.000+08:00

This is actually the continuation of the previous entry Resolutions Review, but I choose to name it Salsa Intermediate 1.5. Why? Just because I like it. (Wahahaha) Decide to try to log a quick entry while waiting for the rush hour jam at my workplace to subside b4 I make my move, so that I can at least have a good comfortable snooze on the bus ride out.

Well... Salsa Intermediate 1.5. The last time I took this lesson was back in Apr 06. When my classmates were Lewis, Qixiao, Johnny, Jianping, Priscilla, Ellen, Renee, Ai Chin, etc The former generation I would call us. Except that I din really made it (Hence the refresher lessons. It feels more like NEW lessons for me than refresher). Well, my Salsa Inter 1.5 class on Sunday is turning out to be quite a fun bunch. They hang out together for Salsa apart from lessons. Not many dance class I've been in hangs out, (and trust me I've been in quite a few classes with diff grps of pple) and the babe factor is certainly a plus point. Keke.

So as far as New Yr Resolutions go, the only thing that I have succeeded is picking up Salsa again.

Resolutions Review

2007-03-04T04:18:00.000+08:00

Have not blog since the CNY holidays. Well, 1 reason y I dun blog as often as I like to, is that MY IE on my hse desktop just refuse to load the Blogger website. I dunno for what fuck reason, but it simply hanged whenever I tried to log in to Blogger. So if I'm at home, I have to use Firefox to blog and I dun really like to use Firefox. Otherwise, I would have to leave it till I'm in the office and blog using the IE on my laptop. Not a really bright idea to reveal this, but..... fuck it lah. My mood's not good today.

It's 0422 after a long nite at Union. Firstly, just lemme recap sth unpleasant which happened last Sat at Union. 1 of my female fren was actually molested by this foreign Indian guy at Union. I was abt to leave Union for supper with Piggy and Candice when I saw my grp of frens gathered outside Union. They told me of a Indian wearing a long sleeve blue top who's into a bit of funny business inside Union. Zhiguang n I went back into Union to recce and we identified the fellow standing at the counter. He called Johnny, and boy, Johnny really got guts. Johnny and Zhiguang approached the guy and attempt to talk it out with him. I stood a distance behind, ready to sock the guy shd he attempt any funny moves. Sometimes, I prefer to let actions do the talking. The bugger sure was guai lan. Die also dun wan to admit. We wanted him to go out n apologise to the gal, he refused to budge n insisted he din do it. We got the manager at Union to talk to him and suggest we go behind to the bar to resolve it. He refused to budge n complained that we're racists. After some haggling, he threatened to call the police.

What the fuck is he thinking abt? Just a ploy to make us not pursue the matter. 1 guy alone in Union plus he do not know Salsa. Pretty clear what his intentions were if ya ask me. I din stayed ard to watch how the story unfolds, as Piggy n Candice were waiting for me. But later I learnt that the police actually came cos of some other biz, n he was shun bian taken away, to which he admitted that he did it. Some pple just deserved to be lauped.

Shucks... haven even talked abt my resolutions, but I lost the mood for blogging already. Till another then...

Mahjong

2007-02-19T18:53:00.000+08:00

I learned how to play Mahjong! Fri nite we went to Miss Tng's hse for Mahjong session. It's more like Mahjong lessons actually, cos Cedric and I are both beginners. So Serene and Christine taught us how to play. Cedric was more interested in Union and left after Derrick joined us. We played 1 rd of Mahjong and I think I only won twice. Paid sch fees of over 15 bucks. Anyway, I'm glad to finally learn how to play Mahjong. I think it's an activity which is worth mastering, sth that pple will gladly organise a gathering for. 1 more activity which I can do next time. =)

Today is the 2nd day of Chinese New Year. This yr's CNY came a bit too sudden for me. Prior to that, I was fretting over my upcoming ICT. Till the last min, I was still trying to defer. Din play for anything that is after the ICT period. ICT came n went n I was left with 1 week to CNY. Then I was left with my pile-up of work for the 2 weeks I was absent, and all the excess request from my China customers in anticipation of the 7 days CNY holidays in China. So much so that I did not even shop for CNY stuffs or help out with anything at home. I bought my CNY shirt on Fri nite itself b4 meeting them for Mahjong.

I think this yr's CNY represents a change in future CNY preparations onwards. Mum seemed to lost all zest in CNY preparations after Grandma passed away last Nov. CNY gathering at Grandma's place feels not-so-right when Grandma's not ard anymore. Nonetheless, everybody still made an effort to gather on that day, even though we are not officially celebrating CNY. We played blackjack with cousins the whole day.

Now I'm left with the decision to make as to what to do tonight. I can either go down to Union, see if anybody's there n if not look for an alternative place to hang out. Or I can just stay at home and see if Mum wants to catch a show later in the nite.

ICT Number 3 Week 2

2007-02-08T21:56:00.000+08:00

Week 2 of ICT. Pulau Tekong week. How nice. I have not visited Tekong in like 6 yrs? Well, somehow I think I'm being eaten in my detachment. My detachment consists of majority 3rd Coy pple and a couple of lao jiaos from other coys. I was somehow arrowed to go for Matador live firing on Fri and another piece of' "good" news greeted me on Mon morning just b4 we move out to Tekong. My Det Com spoke to me:

"Go draw 1 MG."

"What?!"

"Our detachment needs 1 MG."

"I dun want to take MG leh, I'm not trained anyway. Can get someone else?"

"Just draw out first. We'll take turns."

Take turns. Take my fucking shit! The only time when someone else touches the MG was during withdrawal of the mission when I have to lag behind to make someone take note of the fucking MG.

1st day at Tekong was day n nite component training. The first day almost killed me already. Think not conditioned to field yet. I went to bed (safari bed) at nite with my whole body aching. I was left wondering how to go thru the remaining few days and the mission at Tekong.

2nd day was all the dunno-what orders and a day and nite rehearsal. I was in pretty much of a daze in the early part of the day. Hadn't had a good nite sleep the previous nite. I woke up abt every hr. So I took every opportunity I had to snooze during the day. Come rehearsal time at nite, I felt re-energized already. My body adapts v fast to the surrounding. And I was left thinking the mission on Wed nite would be chicken feat. =)

Wed came n Wed went. The mission was seriously fucked. Our Det Com is a nice guy I would say, but just not too efficient workwise.

Thur nite and I'm at home blogging currently, waiting for tomolo to come. Well, whenever I'm in camp, I would inevitably think of Min. I guess it's because of the times when we were together. I was serving NS and she was the inspiration of my life then. The reason I fought. The reason I try as I might to stay out of trouble. Because I value the opportunity to see her every weekend too much. I actually dreamt of her the first nite while I was at Tekong. It was a negative dream. I dreamt of Piggy on Wed nite. negative dream as well. I haven heard from her the whole week. The last time I sms her was on Sun nite to tell her that I'll be away in Tekong for the coming week. Nil news since then.

ICT Number 3 Week 1

2007-02-08T21:19:00.000+08:00

I'm nearing the end of my 3rd ICT today, will be out-process tomolo b4 dinner. All in all, this 2 weeks ICT is still pretty alright. Just quite fucked for the main mission. The 1st week was good; they actually did not indent dinner for the entire week. Means nights-off every nite. EVERY nite. It was quite a relaxed week, just the tot of the pending 1 week out-field at tekong the following week haunting us constantly.

As with all army events, aapproximately 50% of the time goes to waiting. As the saying goes, "Rush to wait; Wait to rush".

The 1st nite, I actually intended to go down to Union. I was pretty early, and I rem Piggy shd be having cha cha lessons at JJ. So decided to pop by JJ to see if she's ard. Lucky I did pop by, as June caught sight of me and gave me the alternative dates for the Salsa Inter 1.5 lessons that I've missed. And so, I did meet Piggy there. She looked good that time. White top with green skirt. She din intend to go Union that nite actually, and had wanted to go for dinner with her frens. However, since I'm there she decided to accompany me instead. We went for a walk ard the area, but actually I wasn't feeling very well. Think had food poisoning from the late nite malay chicken rice at Changi Pt with Piggy that nite. Later was I to know that that particular chicken rice stall is supposed to be famous. It almost made me die on Friday nite though. Was running a fever thru sat which made me unable to attend the last sat Union Square b4 my ICT. I was still feeling the after-effects on Mon nite while I was out strolling with Piggy, but I guess she made it all worthwhile.

The 2nd nite I went home during nights-off. Well, tot ICT can help me to save some money. The cab fare to and fro camp is equivalent to my usual spendings when I'm outside I guess.

The 3rd nite I went down to Union! Not bad, quite a few of the gang was ard. Piggy was there too, but I hadn't told her b4 hand that I was going down. Guess it doesn't make much of a diff to her. She wasn't with me for most of the nite either.

The 4th nite I went home again. Money... there it goes.... =(

The 5th nite was reminiscent nite. I went for a walk ard Tampines central. Tampines Mall, Century Square, the usual places where I usually hanged out during my NSF nights-off. The place changed though. The familiar arcade center and comic shops were no longer there. But I could feel the familiar feeling in the air again. As I queued for No. 29 at the bus interchange to go back camp. The feeling of being constraint. The feeling of uncertainty. The feeling of not being in control of my own life. Man, I hate the army.

And on the 6th day....... book-out right? Yes, but not so soon...... Insert IPPT in the afternoon! Fuck. Courtesy of Mr Foo, who seemingly haven screwed me enough during my NSF days that he's gotta become the CO of NS men now and continue to screw with my life. Well, IPPT right? It doesn't seem so bad, just fail 2 static stations and proceed to out-process yea? That's what I did. Along with several other pitiful souls who tot they have found a way out of this intendedly-scheduled IPPT meant for fucking up pple's life. (They purposely book IPPT for those who have yet to clear it this workyear in the AFTERNOON, n not in the MORNING, so as to fucked up ur weekend) But guess they have predicted this ploy from the lao jiao NS men. Mr Foo was there in person wearing his highly-decorated smart 4 to see us take the IPPT thru the end. Run! Even if u failed 2 static stations. So run it shall be then. Actually I'm quite amazed that I still have it in me for the 2.4km run. Even though I failed, but the leisure run timing that I did was still quite ok for my standard.

That was followed up by 1 night of Union Square which ended pretty early for a sat night. I was ignoring Piggy that nite. Somehow her recent blog entries din exactly made me feel happy. She did come by to my corner once in a while, but we did not converse much as I did not wish to talk that nite. She did tell me when she's leaving, n that was pretty early. So i ended by Union nite pretty early that sat nite too.

Forgotten By Fate

2007-02-03T18:12:00.000+08:00

I was chatting with Donut on msn the other nite, and she was telling me that Fate has forgotten abt her. If there's anyone Fate forgotten, I reckon it's more likely me than anyone else.

(Center portion deleted after 2nd tot)

Fate forgotten me? Nah, Fate abandoned me.

Truth..... Or Dare?

2007-01-23T22:37:00.000+08:00

Hmm.... Lemme make an earnest request for some confirmation here. Out of curiosity's sake.

Who reads my blog ???

Ok, just to make it more fun, I suggest u leave ur answers as comments in the form as such:

"The one who .... blah blah blah."

The blah blah blah being sth which shd be known to only the 2 of us. (If you gonna say sth which u think shd be known by me but in fact is not, there's not much I can do ya?) Even if I already know that u read my blog, pls still do leave a comment.

Well, let's see how many of u will humour me with this request m'kay? =) (I think I'm getting Southpark overdose. Haha)

Hmm.. seems this is only Truth. I'll leave the Dare to some other time when I feel like it. Hehe.

You Go To Hell And You Die ! M'Kay ?

2007-01-23T16:10:00.000+08:00

I'm sick and tired of doing the admin and clerical work. I demand to be doing sth of value, which is what someone of my position is meant to be doing.

You Go To Hell And You Die ! M'Kay ?

In My Place ; What Would You Do?

2007-01-22T11:33:00.000+08:00

The first time I officially talked to Piggy was at the JJ Anniversary party at The Pavilion. Prior to that, I had actually noticed her before during a few of our Rueda sessions in Union. Initially have the impression that she doesn't really talk much and look a bit blur blur at times.

Then at the Pavilion, we were doing Rueda as usual, and the caller shouted Setenta. My parter happen to be Piggy, but we din manage to execute the Setenta. So after the Rueda finish, I went up to her and volunteer to teach her Setenta. After 1 demo, I asked her if she got it.

"Orrhhh !! zhe me rong yi !!" was her reply.

This reply caught me by surprise, and it changed the image that I have of her. She said it so lively and happily; that my impression of her as a kind of shy and reserved type of gal was shattered. So I was caught at a lost of what to say, before I finally utter some reply:

"Ni zhe me cong ming, zao dian shuo ma!"

And so it started from there. Towards the end of the nite, we were seating beside each other and resting, waiting for the event to end. She just started talking, abt her driving test, her sch stuffs, whatever topic that surface. It's been some time since I know a gal who is so easy to talk.

As time goes, I think I found a gal who is a perfect complement to myself. I don't usually talk much, abt in-depth stuffs i mean. If u realise my conversations are usually superficial, I keep my tots to myself. Someone who will invoke me to talk, someone whom I'm truely at ease with when I'm with her, someone who laughs at what I say, regardless of whether it's funny or not. Isn't this reminiscent of someone? The last Min who is so dear to me.

For a while, I began to see light in Lewis' theory. The laws of natural progression finally won one over the laws of cai selection. She's special to me. But I have to let her go. Because she's not mine.

In my place, what would you do?

In My Place

In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost, oh yeah

I was lost, I was lost
Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed
I was lost, oh yeah

Yeah, how long must you wait for him
Yeah, how long must you pay for him
Yeah, how long must you wait for him

I was scared, I was scared
Tired and underprepared
But I'll wait for you

If you go, if you go
Leave me down here on my own
Then I'll wait for you

Yeah, how long must you wait for him
Yeah, how long must you pay for him
Yeah, how long must you wait for him

Please, please, please
Come back and sing to me
To me, me

Come on and sing it out, now, now
Come on and sing it out, to me, me
Come back and sing it

In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost, oh yeah, oh yeah...

La La

2007-01-11T20:16:00.000+08:00

Alright folks, in the season premiere this week, we shall unveil the secret to the billion dollar question raised at last season's final episode:

What is a La La ?

This mystery has one little (oops... little again.. hehe) gal perplexed for the past 4 weeks, hardly able to get a wink of sleep at night, cos she simply must know what is a la la ! And her wish will be fulfilled tonight !

La La-s hail from the distant planet of Saturn, with it's homeland on the nineth moon of Saturn, where the atmosphere consist of 70% methane gas n 30% Calvin Klein Escape cologne.

So how does a La La look like? It's a 4 legged creature covered in white fur with black patches (imagine a cow here), somewhat resembling a rodent, abt the size of ur comp mouse. It's diet consists of CDs (Yes, CD. not VCD or DVD. Strictly CD) and 10 bottles of Vitagen a day. Upon contact with chio gals, the La La will transform into a savage, green scaly lizard-like beast which breathes fire and consumes anything in sight.

The La La-s arrive on Earth in yr 2000 during the millenium countdown planning to invade Earth and colonise us but fell prey to Dawn, whom they mistaken for a Dawnut. When they finally realise that Dawn's not a Dawnut and can't be eaten, they had lost their drive to take over Earth as they were too smitten with Dawn. (Somemore she threatened to cut off the water supply to the Vitagen factory so that they can't produce Vitagen no more) So they choose to co-exist n blend in with everything else on Earth. The La La-s made Dawn their ambassader on Earth and resides ard her vicinity. (Apparently she took them to her office as well. =|)

I tried to adopt a La La from Dawn, but it finished up all the CDs at my place in less than a week's time. Gotta return it to her now... haiz...

Well, u still want one? =)

Resolutionsss...

2007-01-03T12:38:00.000+08:00

Oh ya.... it's that time of the year to make resolutions again. Mine's rather simple.

1) Save money !!!
No more unnecessary taxi rides, no more extravagant expenditures on gals who r not worth it, no more..... eh..... I guess that's it?

2) Cut down smoking !!!
Some of u may not believe that you are seeing this. Haha. Well, it may not be very successful but at least I'm trying ok? Gimme some credit ya? Hehe. Trying to restrict myself to 6 sticks a day, just nice to fit in my ciggie case.

3) Master Salsa !!!
Haiz.. I'm such a failure.

4) Shed those kilos !!!
1997 JC 1 - Healthy 67kg. Due to basketball everyday during sec sch days
1998 JC 2 - Still healthy 70kg. Due to food outburst when I get attached
1999 NS - Lean & fit 76kg. All the training somehow made me weigh more
2000 NS - Balloon 80kg. Slacking the 2nd yr away made me balloon =
2001 Uni 1 - Unhealthy 80kg. Started my unhealthy lifestyle. Smoke n booze
2002 Uni 2 - Slim 78kg! Gasp, first time my weight gone down. Been exercising. Hehe
2003 Uni 3 - Explode 82kg. Getting attached somehow doesn't bode well for my weight
2004 Uni 4 - More 85kg. IA made me gain weight. =(
2005 Work - Slowly 87kg. The life of a working man... haiz
2006 Work - I hate working life! 100kg soon... hahaha

Optional
Find myself a gal who loves me? 爱不爱都受煎熬

Festive Season

2006-12-31T11:29:00.000+08:00

It's that time of the yr again, the time when strange things happen. That's what we concluded during JC days, when pple started falling in love in conjunction with the approach of Christmas. I dun subscribe to that theory no more, as the so-called strange things seem to happen every now and then nowadays. The thing abt Christmas is that most guys tend to "chu pattern" during this time of the yr, as it seems like a appropriate time to let the lady in question know. Even if you think you're not quite there yet in your progress, sometimes you just get caught up in the moment as the time just feels so right, you feel the spirit of love in the air and think that it might apply to you too. You'll probably end up banging the wall. Oh man.... I'm probably describing myself...

Let's have a rewind session, counting back to 1995 of how I spent my Christmas and New Yr day / eves.

1995 Christmas Eve
The most loser date in history. Organise grp outing with Hanxi, Beng Leong, Liting, Huifang and Guat Yee for a movie. (Beng Leong and Guat Yee are but decoys of coz) End up the gals pull a fast one on us and disappear for the majority of the time claiming they went "shopping".

1995 New Yr Eve
No recollection.

1996 Christmas Eve
No recollection.

1996 New Yr Eve
No recollection.

1997 Christmas Eve
97S16 class outing. The place: Clarke Quay. The gal: Sandy. Not a particularly happy nite as things just turned awkward between Sandy and me after I told her I like her. Spent the nite at Candice's place.

1997 New Yr Eve
97S16 class outing. Countdown at Suntec City fountain. We survived 1 gang fight.

1998 Christmas Eve
No recollection.

1998 New Yr Eve
No recollection.

1999 Christmas Eve
97S16 class gathering at James' place. I'm with Huimin that time but still joined the class outing though. I knew she wasn't particularly happy but then I tot I could pop by her place anytime since she stays at Sig Park that time as well.

1999 New Yr Eve
97S16 class outing. The Millenium countdown. This has got to be the most incredulous countdown party that I ever seen. The whole of Orchard Road is canned. Was supposed to be out with the class, but Huimin joined me halfway thru. I rem I was so glad I finally found her amidst the crowd at the road at Heeran as all comms were down.

2000 Christmas Eve
97S16 class gathering at James' place again. The end of our relationship is near. I can feel it.

2000 New Yr Eve
Countdown party at Sentosa with 97S16 class. 1st ever foam party!

2001 Christmas Eve
Brothers gathering at Eugene's place with Lewis in Woodlands which was still not occupied at that time.

2001 New Yr Eve
Countdown party at Sentosa with Lewis' frens.

2002 Christmas Eve
No recollection.

2002 New Yr Eve
Countdown party at Newsroom Bar with Malcolm and Casren and some other frens.

2003 Christmas Eve
Spent at home. Just broke up with Huimin. Self punishment.

2003 New Yr Eve
Countdown party at what used to be DXO with 97S16 class pple.

2004 Christmas Eve
No recollection.

2004 New Yr Eve
No recollection.

2005 Christmas Eve
No recollection.

2005 New Yr Eve
No recollection.

2006 Christmas Eve
Salsa frens gathering at Karen's place.

2006 New Yr Eve
What will it be?

That's a full 10 years recap. It's funny that it's the recent yrs outings that I've actually forgotten. Since dunno which pt in time, all these counting downs started not to mean anything to me anymore. I think it was after 2003.

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2006 Christmas Eve. This was where I was. Karen's hse. =)

Wonder y this pic look so blur. Tot's it's supposed to be taken with digi cam? Actually I also have no idea how I end up there. Just days prior to the actual day, I was talking to Lorraine at Union and casually brought up the qn of what her plans will be on Xmas eve. She told me abt the gathering at Karen's place and thus I got invited as well.

2006 New Yr Eve. This is where I was. Union Square. =)

A photo of a beast, a lala-owner and a hunk. We were all in white in support of Johnny and Karen who's taking part in the salsa competition that nite. I'm still waiting for my photos with Lorrraine, Jermaine n Miss Tng. (Lorraine! When u gonna send to me!) Was just hanging ard the sofa area while the rest were busy taking photos after the salsa comp, when from nowhere someone shouted "Hey, take photo leh! Help me take 1 with Andy!" OK, so I started happily taking photos with the babes when someone else sound out "You also nv take part in competition, how come also take so many photos!" Oops.... wahahaha...

Speaking of photos.... I'm still hoping someone will send me the photo of me and my 2 piggies taken some other nite ago...

Jasmine

2006-11-26T13:25:00.000+08:00

I met Jasmine finally after knowing her online for 2 years.

We got aquainted during the time while I was under attachment for Hart Engineering, doing Bangala work at Harbor Front building the Caribbean. We used to exchange msgs on Friendster, and all the talk abt meeting up but ntg was realised in the end. Then the exchange sort of ended and it became just an occasional msg or sms now n then.

I was at Union last nite but it ended sort of early for the pple I knew. Everybody went back at ard 12 plus and it left me with ntg to do on a Sat nite. This is SIMPLY unacceptable! I tot of going down to Zouk to join Eugene but it was already 1 plus when I got there n I have no idea how long he was gonna stay there. So I just tried my luck n asked Jasmine whether she's hanging out anywhere that nite.

It so happened that she was at Dbl O and so I decide to pop by and say a belated Hi which finally came abt 2 yrs late.

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Well, just to satisfy 1 curious little gal named Audrey...

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The sms exchange went as such:

Me "U happen to be in Sg tonite?"
Jas "Yea. Dbl O"
Me "What time does the place close?"
Jas "4am"
Me "Do you think it's convenient for me to pop by and say hi?"
Jas "Up to u. Hee.."
Me "Alrite, I'll reach in a while"

The tot that she might be there with 1 big grp of frens and my appearance there would be so awkward out of place did flash across my mind for a min. But the counter argument that I'll have to go home shd I decide not to join her pushed it out of my mind. Anyway, I was in my PR mood that nite, the feeling that I can take on the world regardless of what it threw at me. So what's the big deal with meeting a few new pple and doing some PR-ing? (Just for info, I dun like PR-ing for the most part) Anyway, it's retro nite at Dbl O. Keke.

I reached there at ard 245am, pretty not worth it to enter a club at this kinda time. But then again, it's like: fuck it lah, just go in. It isn't easy trying to spot someone whom u have nv met b4 at a club. (It's already hard even if u're trying to spot someone u KNOW, duh)

Me "I'm in Dbl O already. Where will u be?"
Jas "I'm near the dance floor in front of the bar counter"

After several rounds in n out of the dancefloor, I still can't find the elusive Jasmine. Impossible! The dancefloor seems hardly big enough to conceal a babe like Jasmine. Seems my chiobu radar is malfunctioning. Rather than running ard like a headless chicken, looking for a gal I've nv met b4, I decided on the next best course of action. Which is...

Me "Eh... it's kinda hard to find u considering that we've nv met b4. What ya wearing? I'm in a black polo top"
Jas "I'm on the center platform. Wearing a denim dress"

Ok, the direction seems clear enough. So off I go to hunt for a denim skirt. The gals must think I'm pyscho, kept peering at them legs. The few denim skirt gals all doesn't seem to fit the bill, and the platform isn't really that damn a big place to hide. Perplexed.... n I read the sms again. Denim DRESS. Fuck. Bobo me.

So finally we met. The guy in the black polo and the gal in denim skirt. She's actually there with only 1 other gal fren, which makes things a lot more relaxed for me. Though I can see a lot of guys has been hitting on them already. We stayed at the dancefloor for a while more, and then moved back to the table to rest a bit. My old bones aren't like what they used to be in my 20s. Haha. Gotta grease them properly shd I not wana hear creaking sounds the next day.

A guy with a sizeable belly and a balding pate appeared at the table and started chatting them up. I just kept a distance and dance my stuff while they chat and b4 long it's bedtime for Jas. I offered to fetch her home but she declined. So off I went n..... that's that?

The above account have been juicified to pacify little Audrey's sense of curiousity. Just for the records, she's attached. So dun think too much here ya?

Funny Aircraft Business

2006-11-17T15:06:00.000+08:00

Yest morning while I was on the cab to work, the typical cabbie was babbling happily away while I sat in the backseat, trying to appear I'm listening but my mind was actually maybe miles away thinking of some pretty gals, when he suddenly mentioned sth abt USA President and road closure.

I gathered whatever attention I can in that moment, and took in the cabbie's babbling which is : George Bush had landed in Singapore and that Air Force One is currently parked at Paya Lebar Airbase. Read from 1 of the Dan Brown novel that Air Force One is actually 1 humongous fuck of a plane, in an attempt to intimidate any visitors who r "invited" to tea on board Air Force One. Dunno how true it that.

Anyway, kinda intersting to know that George Bush's plane is currently parked opposite my workplace.

Sth funny which has occured a few times lately. There is this taxi-way linking Paya Lebar Airbase to my workplace, for those planes which are to be serviced to drive over into the hangars. the taxi-way cuts across the road and so there's a huge gate which will open up and stop the traffic on the road. Last week, I've received 2 phonecalls while at my work desk, to open the gate cos the planes are coming across. Duh....... ask me to open the gate??? Maybe next time I should ask them what's the actual number to call. Just for curiousity's sake.

End

2006-11-15T01:25:00.000+08:00

Forget it. You are nothing to her.

死性不改

2006-11-14T13:04:00.000+08:00

<死性不改>

再见了我的宠爱
谁愿意受这种意外
你赞我天生可爱
不愿看着我离开

同伴也话我傻喜欢受挫
宁愿情敌在伤我

人天生根本都不可以爱死身边的一个
无奈你最够刺激我凡事也治倒我
几多黑心的教唆我亦捱得过
来煽风来点火就击倒我么

谁恋爱就多障碍死性我不想改
如我没有你的爱我无法活得来
情人的存在是我从来都志在
能在我拱手让爱

我怕可一不可再
难道你被爱都有害
我确信天真不会错
威力会移山填海

同伴也话我傻喜欢受挫
宁愿情敌在伤我

Double O Mania Again

2006-11-13T09:53:00.000+08:00

I got a last min call to go down to Dbl O last Fri nite, together with Club 58 pple. Just as well, since nowadays, I always find myself wondering where I can go towards the ending hours of work on Fridays. The plan was initially Union Square (again!), but guessed everyone wanted to prevent an overdose as we'll prob be there again on Sat nite.

Alright. Clubbing. The main nite activity on weekend nites before Salsa came into the picture. After that, it was all Salsa Salsa Salsa... I feel shd have an equal balance with both. Prob can organise a clubbing outing on every alternate week, coupled with a KTV outing on every other week. That would sound like a good mix of Salsa, Clubbing, KTV, along with any other activity there might be.

We had quite a good turn-out, Jermaine, Lorraine, Serene, Karen, Christine, Josephine, Evelyn, Cedric, both Jeremys, Lawrence, Ryan, Jerry, etc. And it was only when I was there n they announced it's a drink-till-u-drop nite. Shucks... n I was driving. Well, my last resort is to engage a driver shd I really drop. Haha. But it turn out that the ladies are the ones to drop. N pretty fast at that. I think the killer was the 8 lambos that i ordered. Cedric had 1, I had 1, Serene had 1, Jermaine n Josephine shared 1, Christine n Evelyn shared 1, Lorraine n Karen shared 1, Serene n I shared another 1, n dunno who had the last 1.

Salsa babes at Double O. Lorraine & Karen

I'm a happy man. =)

I think my liquor level has improved quite a bit from my clubbing days in the past. I used to need to make a conscious effort in order to keep myself sober, and in control of things while clubbing. The only time which I actually zonked out was when I was at China Black with Eugene and Weian. Dunno what happened but I ended up puking outside; This marked the 1st time I ever puked while clubbing. But nowadays, I simply just let go and drink. And so far not once have I been so far gone that I can't be in control.

There was a table of young kiddos beside our table, and they were having a birthday celebration for a hot gal of 18 yrs old. Moments later, I saw her being carried out of the toilet with a fren on each side. Who's to know that's to happen to our grp as well, as Karen zonked out soon after that. She took a pretty long time in the washroom, but eventually we managed to move her to someone's car to be ferried to Club 58 for her to sober up b4 she goes home.

Biggest Rueda Circle!

2006-11-13T09:25:00.000+08:00

This post is going to be a bit outdated but nonetheless, I feel that it's sth significant to blog abt. The Biggest Rueda Circle in the world! The Singapore International Salsa Festival was held at Pasir Ris in mid-Oct and the 1 occasion which I'm really interested in is the attempt to break the Biggest Rueda Circle record in the Guiness Book of Records.

The previous record stands at 173 couples with 5 different commands, established in Miami at dunno when. But when we were all gathered in the temporary tent at Pasir Ris, there were only abt 140+ couples ready. Initially, the list of Rueda commands was a long list comprising of almost the whole of Rueda1 and Rueda2 commands. But due to the apparent lack of participants (too many pple dunno too many of the commands), the list was greatly reduced to abt the commands taught in the 1st 2 lessons of Rueda1.

Well, this is for the Guiness Book of Records right? So there has to be some officials ard to document it ain't it? Yeah right, here comes the interesting part. There was this creature sitting atop the stage, dressed in a shiny blue mid-riff baring top, with matching pants. Tot she looked like a clown from a circus. Later was I to know that she is actually the infamous Edie the Salsa Freak. (Argh... what's with the clownish attire?) She was actually at Miami when the last record was set. Next there was this little balding man standing on the stage as well, who was announced to be 1 of the officials representing Guiness Book of Records. I tot he looked more like 1 of the ah peh drinking Guiness stout at kopitiams, rather than from Guiness Book of Records. It does make it all looks a bit not-so-official. Keke.

There were apparently some restrictions in trying to break the record. The Rueda Circle must not be broken, n if it did, we r only given 2 chances to attempt to break it. After what seemed like a good hour of networking, (pple were attempting last min calls to gather enough pple to break the record) and gals changing roles to become guys, we finally gotten enough couples. Total of 176 couples, executing 10 different Rueda moves in 3min 44 sec.

Hooray! We broke the record. =)

But couple of days later, I chanced upon the 2006 Guiness Book of Records at Kinokuniya. Under the category of Mass Participation, I couldn't find a Biggest Rueda Circle recorded. =(

The Great Bohlwinkel

2006-10-24T02:41:00.000+08:00

I like to make u happy u know? But I dunno how long I can sustain this. How long I can sustain before I could finally take it no longer. How long I can sustain before I do a premature showhand, bang wall, n pull the disappearing act all over again. Yes, the famed disappearing act that I have pulled over n over again. Because I've got no heart....

Series Of Unfortunate Event

2006-10-15T04:21:00.000+08:00

A stroke of bad luck befallen me lately. On my 1st day back to work after Chengdu, I reached the office, open up my laptop bag and realised my laptop charger isn't in the bag. I tot I prob dropped it on the floor at home, cos I remembered opening up my laptop when I reached home that nite. Alas, the damned contraption wasn't lying on any part of the floor at home. So recalling further, the last time I opened up my laptop bag was back in the airport at Chengdu while waiting for the flight. Fuck. There it goes...

And today while I was out and happened to flip thru my wallet, I realised 1 of my credit card wasn't at where it's supposed to be! Hell! I made a quick call to block the card, and checked if some bugger's already used it for any purchases. Luckily the last transaction was still a few days back. And recalling, the last time I used the card was to pay for my hotel bills in Chengdu. Double fuck. There it goes again...

What's more surprising, I lost them without even the slightest knowledge or afterthought of where I could possibly have left it. It's just not like me to be like this. Unless some little bastard has been pinching things from me right under my very nose? Haha.

Let it stop here pls?

Amusing Events In China

2006-10-15T03:38:00.000+08:00

Just a brief recap of some amusing incidents which I witnessed in China lately

On my previous trip to Shanghai, I was in a cab with Honghui on the expressway when the cab came to an abrupt halt, and started to crawl along at a snail's pace. At first, I tot it was ntg more than just another rogue vehicle abrupting changing lane. But when I peered out the front, here's what I saw:

There was a balding old man trotting along, with eyes closed and 1 hand held in a praying posture, slowly ambling across the road, oblivious to all vehicles waiting for him to make his journey to the other side of the road. WTF? Close ur eyes and pray to Buddha that u dun get knocked down while u cross the road???

But then again, I have come up with 3 theories on road-crossing techniques in Shanghai.

1) Regardless of any traffic regulating instruments / objects / officers, the idea is to just get across the road without getting urself killed. All other things doesn't come into consideration.

2) Zebra crossings (or so as they are known in Singapore) in Shanghai r but just a guideline telling u where u can possible attempt to cross the road. U try crossing like u do in Singapore will likely see u sprawled on the grd 3 feet from where u stood moments ago.

3) Here's what we are taught in pri sch:

Look right. Look left. Look right again and cross the road.

Here's what will happen if you practise this in Shanghai:

Look right. (traffic clear) Look left. (traffic clear) Look right again (traffic seems clear) and cross the road. (U get knocked down)

All thanks to the left-hand drive system in China.

And on my recent trip to Chengdu, while walking back to our hotel with Honghui and Carrie after lunch, here's what I saw:

There was a little gal of abt 3 or 4 yrs old, kneeling on the side of the road, holding a chopper (yes, the kind of meat cleaver which we use to chop tir ba in the market) attempting to cut some grass. (Who the hell knows what kind of valuable shit is in the grass?) Must they go to this extent???

Haiz.... China.

A little sth on my 1st Chengdu trip. Well, Chengdu beats Shanghai hands down in terms of the babe factor. The cai spotting rate along a normal street is abt 1 per 5 min. Some pics.... not of cais though. hahaha.

A building beside my customer's premise along a secluded road in a secluded area which is devoid of much activites in the day time.

My new fren in Chengdu. A really nice gal, who brought me out on my 2nd nite in Chengdu which I have to spent alone otherwise. We went to this place called "Jin Li Gu Jie", loosely interpreted as Jin Li ancient street. It's a short stretch of road in which all the buildings look like they came out from a period drama show on tv. I half expected to see a "dian xiao-er" wearing their "chun min" hat appear in the shops.

The pub which we hanged out at at Jin Li Gu Jie. We were on the 2nd floor of the building, which looked like a "ke zhan" on the exterior, but pretty modern in the interior. Really dark and cosy feeling.

My fave activity during army times! Wayang! =P

Hazy Days, Hazy Memories

2006-10-08T12:32:00.000+08:00

I see blurry images and hazy skies when I step out of the house nowadays. After a good 10 yrs, I smell the familiar scent of the polluted air again. The scent.... beings me back a good 10 yrs, back in 1997...

It was JC1, when I was with Xiaowei. It was going towards the end of our relationship as well, sometime around Aug or Sep. Not that I still hold any feelings towards that, just that the familiar scent of the hazy airs inevitably causes me to reminiscene about the past. I would used to take the train back with her to AMK everytime we go out, and we'll walk along the walkway alongside the MRT track to her hse. Then while she goes up, I'll make my way to the overhead bridge and see her till she goes in her hse. Then I'll slowly make my way back on the same walkway, the familiarity of this routine so deeply entrenched in my mind that even till now, it is still so hauntingly clear, like it was just yesterday.

Well, my first relationship may not be the most memorable, but it sure did teach me 1 impt lesson, that is the balance between girlfriend and friends. We started out as frens who hang out together in 1 clique, but after we got together, we gradually isolated ourselves from the clique. I guess this is a natural phenomenon, either by choice or by circumstance, that couples will generally isolate themselves. Furthermore, the class' efforts to leave us to ourselves add to the effect. We got tgoether in Feb, and before long ard sometime in May, it had made me fell out with Eugene. (This has got to be the most ridiculous event that ever happened now that I think back on it. Imagine a gal being jealous of a guy fren? WTF?)

Pics Are Up

2006-09-18T01:28:00.000+08:00

I realised that I seldom post photos on my blog. It kinda makes it a boring blog with only endless rows n rows of words abt my love life. (It's quite troublesome to post pics ya know? And after that gotta caption it properly and ensure all the settings are aligned) Well, lemme just edit and insert in some photos along the way. U might catch some new photos if u bother to scroll thru some of the previous entries new pics. =)

Hmm.. I seem to have totally detached from Salsa already, after my last Shanghai trip, especially after Union last nite. Well, this trip caused me to miss 2 of 4 Rueda3 lessons, effectively forcing me to drop out of class. So now I gotta wait for the upcoming batch of Rueda1 class to reach Rueda3 before I can join. And in the meantime, I'm neither here nor there. My Rueda class pple are already joining the expert Rueda grp, which I dun think I can join in yet. Plus I'm not really familiar with the now Rueda1 class pple. Shucks...

Shanghai Grand-EST

2006-09-17T14:29:00.000+08:00

I'm back from my longest Shanghai trip to date, 9 days including the weekends. It was truly a good experience this time round, and it finally got me around to loving Shanghai. I was there with Honghui and Kelvin to set up the warehouse for our new program there. On the 1st nite there after we finish work, we had our dinner at Hooters Shanghai. I'm not even going to try to compare it with Hooters Singapore (which actually feels more like Hooters Malaysia to me) because this is way higher up there. This was actually the 2nd time I been to the place, but the difference lies in going there alone n going with a crowd. When ya alone, they hardly even stop by to talk with u.

We had our dinner there, and hung ard for a drink after that, while the waitresses on and off stop by to chat with us. We survey them for any nice places to hang out and managed to compile a long list which we put to good use on the forecoming weekend. There were a total of 6 active waitresses doing the serving and we have to end up with the least impressive gal of the lot. So much for luck. Well, let the photos do the talking...

Our first photo was with this tanned-looking babe, Mandy who looks rather un-chinese but sure as hell is voluptuous. Shucks, I closed my eyes. So gotta take another shot...

Erm... and I closed my eyes again. = Alright, I'm gonna start counting. (Blinking rate : 2/2 now)

Alright, this is arguably the best of the lot, Ava. (Note the 2 grossly overweight spanish looking dudes in the backgrd? They were pretty impressive, finishing 2 bottles of Absolut Vodka by themselves.)

Ava again, with Kelvin n myself. A nicely taken pic. =)

This is Shirley, the waitress designated to our table. I blinked again. = (Blink rate : 3/5)

This is Kelvin after getting con into buying a shirt there with all the gals' signatures. From left: Mandy, Ariel (the little mermaid?) Ava, Bella, Kelvin, Shirley and Vera.

All in all, Hooters is a place for cheap thrills. Not much variety of food, but plenty of entertainment abound. The 2nd nite there, we were ready to let out hair down and party. I mean come on, it's fri nite after all. We worked our asses off in the day, party time at nite. We decided to check out 1 of the recommendations by the Hooters gals, at Fu Xing Garden, called Guan Di. Pretty weird to have a chinese name for a club, but apart from that it doesn't affect me much.

We had quite a grp. Besides Honghui, Kelvin and myself, we asked along Jasmine the Airbus rep from our new program, Stella our storekeeper in Shanghai and Xiao Tong from our import/export company in Shanghai. We were there pretty early, but still all the tables are reserved. We are only allocated the bar counter seats, with a goondu bar tender who eyes us suspiciously. The music they r playing r more along the line of R&B and hip hop. So there r the occasional poseurs with really flashy dress sense. But as the nite goes on, my eyes widen with disbelief. I would say the average rating of the gals there is at least a 7/10. Seriously, this is the 1st time I seen so many chio chinese gals clubbing at 1 premise. Well, to be precise, they are of all sorts of nationality actually. I went on a qie-ing spree, and the majority which caught my attention are actually from Korea and Taiwan. Well, despite the abundance of cais, 1 general rule still stands: Chio cais are dao. It's either they r dao, or they have equally chio frens who r dao, or they r all dao.

I got pretty tipsy towards the end of the nite n snoozed till late afternoon the following day. Honghui decided to take us for a tour of Shanghai's main tourist attraction, Cheng Huang Miao, the next day. I was still in pretty much of a daze, walking thru the place in a zombie-like manner. After that, we rested up in the hotel, and when nite comes, readied ourselves for another nites out. We decided to check out this place called Babyface which has 2 premise in Shanghai. Our first attempt leads us down a dark n secluded alley, with ladies outside empty looking bars egging us to check out their bars. Looks like real cosy places on a rather chilly nite, but I can't help but to feel the sleaze in the air.

Well, abundance of pubs along the stretch of road, but just could not locate the one which we r looking for. Ok, move to alternate baseplate location. Babyface 2. Alright, Babyface 2 is situated at a more city area but we were pretty much disappointed by what happened within. Again, even though we reached at 8plus. they do not have a table available for us. And to even sit at the bar counter would require us to open a bottle. And worse still, even the bar counter seats are all taken. Bah! So we have 3 choices: 1) stand ard and look like idiots while waiting for a table to be available 2) go to the nearest 7-11 n gulp down some booze and come back just in time for the music 3) Switch to alternate baseplate location again. Finally we chose option 3, and we returned to.... where else but Guan Di. =

It din seem all that bad, cos we remembered from yest there were posters advertising that tonite would be a school ger party nite. So we can be expecting ladies coming in sch uniforms. (Does it start to sound like some sort of Jap fetish already?) So... ya gonna ask: Were there sch gals??? Hmm.. indeed there are, but the majority r actually the promoters there. It's a combined event with iPod, so thru-out the nite there r some gals in sch uniform pretending to listen to their iPod and grooving to the music. The 2nd nite din turn out to be half as fun as the 1st nite. Mostly cos I was pretty dormant, prob not high enough like the previous nite. Eventually we left with a bland taste in our mouth.

Well, the highlights are during the weekends. Weekdays are just work except for a farewell party we had on the eve of Kelvin's departure. Heh heh. Overall, my expenses r thru the roof, and I fell in love with xiao long bao. =) Another trip which will see me spend the weekend there coming up the week after. Oh man...

Ugly Singaporeans

2006-08-29T12:05:00.000+08:00

Couple of weeks back, I happen to be an unfortunate witness (as well as participant) in what I would consider a typical event which exemplifies Singaporeans' high "civic and moral values" on the MRT on my way to work. It's also a good example of how some pple uses the ass to think instead of the brain.

The scene was early morning 6plus, in a crowded MRT cabin, I was dozing happily on the 2nd seat to the last, the last being the one where there r labels indicating "Pls give way to the elderly or the disabled" pasted above it. All the seats r taken, n at the next stop, in walks who else but a pregnant lady.

I do a quick scan of the surrounding; no seats available; no one looks as though they r willing to give up their seats anytime soon; the pregnant lady is gradually positioning herself near me. Finally, she stopped and stood in front of the guy sitting beside me (The 3rd seat to the last). Still no one made a move. I quickly shut the thin slit that my eyes r looking out from and go back to sleep. (Yes, I'm an ugly Singaporean)

After 1 stop, I opened up a thin slit of my eyes to survey the surrounding. The pregnant lady is still standing at where she was. No one made a move yet. A quick peek to the left and right reveals that both guys were sleeping. The guy on the last seat had his head leaning against the glass panel somemore. Just when I closed my eyes again, I heard a guy clearing his throat loudly. It was this uncle who's standing in front of the guy in the last seat. Obviously he was trying to display his civic-minded-ness.

After a series of "ahem", I must assumed that still no one moved. Because what came next was this: Uncle decided to blast his radio at full blast. An orbit chinese song (not exactly sure who's the singer, but sounds like someone who's past his prime and went into retirement, only to realise he had run out of money, n so is trying a comeback) blared out from a mini radio that he is carrying at full volume.

Now this irritated me. So Uncle has decided that he must play hero and shame those who refuse to give up their seat for the pregnant lady. I took another quick peek to my sides. The guy with his head on the glass din even flinch. So now all the 'sleeping' passengers would attempt to be even more convincing that they r truly asleep. So if Uncle Heroic was looking for effect, he had just lost it completely. Which 'sleeping' guy would at this moment stand up and offer the lady her seat with the whole train's eyes on them?

Well, I dunno, maybe cos I'm a result-oriented person, that's y I felt this way; that Uncle Heroic just destroyed what he hopes to achieve thru a rather dumb plan. Should he really feel so strongly abt this, shdn't he just tap on the shoulder of a 'sleeping' guy and ask him to offer his seat to the pregnant lady? More often than not, the guy would likely give up his seat, albeit not necessarily willingly. So seeing that his 'ingenius' plan din even cause a stir, Uncle Heroic has no choice but to tone down the volume of his radio to a lower but still highly irritable level.

Moral of the story: Some pple dun use brain. Most Singaporeans are not ugly (This is actually the first time that I witness no one giving up their place to a pregnant or elderly person) I could probably give 101 reasons to explain y I did not offer my seat, but then again... let's just say that I'm an ugly Singaporean n get it over n done with. =P

Ignorance No More

2006-08-28T22:21:00.000+08:00

"I kiss you because I like you."

"Huh? Suddenly u msg me tis dun scare me leh.."

"I know you know all along, but u just choose to not know."

"Sometime certain is better not to noe. Dun u think else it will b v odd esp when u noe i got bf"

"Good nite..."

"Good Nite :-)"

Feigning Ignorance

2006-08-14T19:22:00.000+08:00

Today she asked me what does the kiss mean. I dunno how to ans her.

Retro Nite At Dbl O

2006-08-13T23:25:00.000+08:00

Hmm... Audrey commented that my blog is a sad blog. Sad to say, I've to agree with what she said. =(

I started this blog cos I dun usually confide in frens abt my heartaches. So decide to pen it down here before the bottle burst... hehe. But I guess that must change. I'm different from the me in 2004, when I started this blog. I'm so much of a happier person now. I think I really have too much negative feelings trapped in me the past few yrs. Especially the 2 yrs following my break-up with Min. I got so much hatred in me that I couldn't even start a relationship proper.

So for a start, let's make this a happy entry. To date, I've not had an enjoyable time at Double O. But yest nite makes all the diff. It was Regina's birthday celebration at Dbl O, and initially few of us Supplies guys were supposed to go down. Then Joe and Melvin decide not to go, n Agatha said she's gonna reach quite late. So while I was on the train down, I decide to try to beat the 9pm cover charge at Union and sneak down for a short while. I knew Serene prob wun be there, cos she told me she's watching fireworks. Well I tot I wouldn't even be seeing her for this weekend. Haven seen her since she came back from Bintan. She asked me to go down to Terence's place on fri nite, but in the end I din go. I also can't explain y I refuse. I badly wanted to see her, but I guess I just din want it to take place at Terence's place.

So I hung ard at Union for a short while and then took a cab down to Dbl O. Then she sms me asking me where I'll be. I told her I'll be at Dbl O n asked her if she wana join me, to which she surprisingly agreed. So I spent the initial part of the nite playing games with Regina n gang, anxiously awaiting her arrival. Somehow, deep in the pits of my heart I've a nagging feeling that she'll just call it off n said she's not coming. But somehow, she came. =)

Oh.. and another thing. I finally found a place with my era type of music on a sat nite. Retro all the way. Yeah! Quite reminiscent of the numerous Mambo nites at Zouk, seeing the little kiddies with all their hand signals on the platform. So I was mainly alone with Serene the whole nite. Not since a long time has 2 person clubbing been so enjoyable for me. If only they played "Once In A Lifetime", then I would feel the magic again.

So all the high point eventually ended with a low point, when she said she wun be going back to Boon Lay for the nite. Spending her nite at what she called her 2nd home. I suppose it have to be her bf's place. I din ask her abt it, because there r some things which I do not like to hear. So I dropped her off and went home.

What becomes of this "distraction"?

First attempt at combined pic. A bit unprepared. My mouth is filled with ice, and Serene's looking a tat like Bugs Bunny.

2nd attempt at combined pic. Lovely picture. isn't it? My distraction.

What The Fuck Am I Doing Here?

2006-08-06T04:27:00.000+08:00

Have you ever found urself in a position where u r with a whole grp of pple partying, having fun, basically just having a good time, and then u were suddenly reminded that you actually dun know much abt the majority of the pple and they r pple whom u just got to know. And in ur mind's eye, u wonder aloud "What the fuck m I doing here?" Not in a bad way, but just the incredulous feeling that you r genuinely having fun, but with pple who r slightly a bit more than strangers.

Ever since I started working, I found myself being in this position more and more. Not cos of work of coz; coz of the activities I joined after I started work. Mainly salsa. The rate of my social circle growth is expanding at an exponential rate ever since salsa. Sth I enjoy is the camaderie with the grp. That you have a regular grp of pals available for various activities.

I sense I may get expelled from the grp soon. It might just be my paranoia, knowing that I'm in a position of social taboo currently, being seemingly interested in Serene. Is she really just a distraction? I seriously doubt anything might blossom between us, given the intense competition and the bottomline being she is attached, though I dun hear much regarding the supposed bf. He seems missing in action. I haven done salsa at union in a long time. But I asked Serene to dance. If she isn't special, I dunno who is. I dun feel I'm being unethical, if she will like me, she will. If she chooses someone else, I'll accept it.

It might not even be a good idea to pen this down, not knowing if anyone in the salsa grp might be reading this. Like the shock I have when I realised Michelle (colleague) is reading my blog.
But heck, so be it. I'm know to be above concerns of social and peer views. I'm an island anyway.

Just Some Fucked-Up Shit

2006-07-30T10:16:00.000+08:00

I'm getting more and more fed-up with my job and all the crap that comes along with my "beloved" customer from mainland. I haven't had a weekend without disturbance for months. Something would just seem to go wrong every Friday evening and fucked up my weekend. And they have to call me on weekend mornings to tell me some crapshit which I already known. And it would not only be 1 phonecall. It would be a few of them, just to say the same old crapshit all over again. Come on, if it's not anything new, fuck the early morning calls and let me get my rest. And I know someone up there is thinking I'm not doing a good job with my program, and at the same time still assigns me to take over some other guy's program which is now in a mess and expects me to clean up the shit for him, while he gets all the recognition. This is life. But I've no intention to take shit from no one. I can tolerate the non-recognition but anything further than that, you're pushing ur luck. When need be, "screw you guys, I'm going home~"

I feel that I'm in a crossroad in my life in every aspect all over again. Fed up with my job, stuck in limbo with my social life, non-existent is my love life. I've taken salsa for almost close to a yr now, but currently I'm pretty much considered a drop-out student. I longed to anyhow grab a gal and hit the dance floor like everyone else, but I'm still not at that level, despite having picked up salsa for so long. Maybe I'm just not meant to dance, or maybe in the first place I appraoched salsa with a lackadaisical attitude. More like some activity to pass time than a passion. Salsa resolutions: retake the intermediate levels and hit the salsa dance floor all over again. Master Bachata and Rueda.

Now now, what's there to speak of of a love life that is non-existent? I'm back to my old ways already, enjoying the pleasures of singlehood. Jesslyn was but a flash-in-the-pan. (and a pain-in-the-ass) Gals, they come and they go. Prob I had some external help, with Serene being a healthy distraction. But then again, perhaps it's not really that healthy, with she being attached and having another of my fren sort of interested in her. I'll be fine if I dun allow myself to fall, so long everything is still within my control. Just a distraction.

Happy Birthday After All !

2006-07-13T23:54:00.000+08:00

If I had said it once, I'd say it again. The Beast will be back, and he is now back.

Just some last remnants of the Andy-Jess affair. She deleted me from her Frenster. Then I saw her on msn 1 day with comments beside her nick : "Hehe... My deardear is the BEST!" I checked her Frenster profile. In A Relationship. Not to say I did not expect this. In fact I knew it's gonna be sth like this anytime. Sometimes gals can be just so full of bullshit. Especially little gals like her. Well, be it. I'm not much affected. When things come to such a stand, it's no longer a case of being over it. It's more like she's not worth it.

My birthday came and went in a subtly eventful way. Early in the morning before I reach work, got a call from my sup asking me where I was. They actually got a card for me for my birthday. Sth unexpected, from a seemingly dull office enviroment. Haha. As the day goes on, the birthday sms started to trickle in. I must say Frenster played a big part in this. Serene left me a bday testimonial. After work was Rueda time. They remembered as well. Qi Xiao bought me sth too. All these sms and little gestures. It does mean sth to me.

Thank you,
Hanxi, Lewis, Eugene, Sok, Duckie, Cynthia, Serene, Hui, Min, Kit, Nicolette, Pris, Christine, Qiqi, Sandy, Michi, Vivian, Fab, Qi Xiao, Johnny, Ai Chin, Ellen, Zhaojun.
To all those who care.

Some photos from my mini birthday celebration at Settlers' Cafe with JC mates.

A normal looking grp photo. =)

Whack the birthday boy!

One with the hunks

One with the babes

We played Cranium (Duckie's crazy over this game) , and Monopoly LOTR edition. It was pretty fun (I bought Mount Doom already leh.... It was the Mayfair spot on normal Monopoly), but Duckie keep pressing for a change of game. Somehow, Cranium doesn't seem to be my game. The few times I played all on the losing team. After the games, we went to Essential Brew for some tea on a rainy day.

(Un)Happy Birthday?

2006-07-03T12:54:00.000+08:00

I have pretty much come to terms with the end of the relationship. We had a talk over the phone on Thur nite, which made me see that there was no way I could have made her stay. The situation is just that futile; she being barely 20 and stuffs. There's gonna be a lot more changes ahead even if it did not end now. Now, I've just got to get my hp back from her and the chapter can be closed. I'm having mixed feelings abt this. I dunno how I'd feel when I see her. I rather I don't see her, if just for maintaining the peace in my mind now. But then again, so be it lah. I'd prob run into her in CCK numerous times in the future. Get used to it soon least I run into her holding someone else's hand.

The past weekend was eventful. Helped Hanxi celebrate Serene's birthday at West Coast park along with her frens. It was meant to be sort of a surprise to her. Me and 3 other of her frens, Blythe, Michelle and Weiqi stationed ourselves at West Coast Park and arranged a heart shape with candles on the sand. Then Hanxi brought Serene and after that we all stayed at Mac to watch the remaining of the England Vs Portugal match. Well, even if i can't be happy, at least I can help other couples be happy.

My birthday comes exactly 10 days after hers. Actually to me, birthdays are ntg special, especially at this age. Don't really have the intention to throw a grand party or paint the town red. But Jess did ever suggest while we were still together to celebrate my birthday together. She asked me what I wanted for present, which I told her that I don't need presents. We'll just go for a date, movie n dinner or sth to that effect. Another time she even asked me what kinda cake I want. Gone with the wind. Gone is her heart.

Guess no matter what I do now on that day, I'll still be blanketed by the thought of her celebrating birthday with me. Just let it pass uneventfully, it's only 1 day.

Hiatus

2006-06-28T18:10:00.000+08:00

Monday was a bad day. I saw it coming all along somehow. We quarelled on Saturday, after she went Sentosa. We broke up over the phone, after which we agreed to give it another shot over the phone as well. She agreed to meet me when she reach CCK. It nv happened. She said she was tired and wana go home instead. I told her I'll be going down to Union Square. I got myself so dead drunk on beer that I concussed outside Union Square on the floor.

Sunday. We initially agreed to meet. Maybe to talk things out. Maybe just to go out just like normal. Agreed to go for a movie at Suntec. Meet ard 430pm. It was pushed to 530pm. It was cancelled cos she feeling too tired. I asked her to come over to my place. She said see how later. It din happen. She said we'll meet for dinner tomolo after work instead. I knew she was pushing it.

Monday. Late afternoon I asked where she wana go n eat. She said she doesn't feel like eating, not hungry. I asked if we're gonna meet later. She said she dunno. I knew she doesn't wana meet anymore. She doesn't wana tell me face-to-face that she wants a break up. I knew she's thinking of that. It happened anyway.

I can't work well the entire day. I took 2 days leave on Tue and Wed. I need time to sort out my feelings; to get back to life without Jess. A hiatus, I'd call it. Abeit a short one. I hope it helps me get back on my life. I still gave her morning calls for the past 2 days. She did not pick up but she did sms me afterwards.

How long would this take? The road to recovery again...

For My Dear

2006-06-26T23:43:00.000+08:00

For my dear Jess

我真的受伤了

窗外阴天了音乐底声了
我的心开始想你了
灯光也暗了音乐低声了
口中的棉花糖也融化了

窗外阴天了人是无聊了
我的心开始想你了
电话响起了你要说话了
还以为你心里对我又想念了
怎么你声音变得冷淡了
是你变了是你变了

灯光熄灭了音乐静止了
滴下的眼泪已停不住了
天下起雨了人是不快乐
我的心真的受伤了

Misery

2006-06-26T11:19:00.000+08:00

1 mth into the relationship and it's almost over. Jess feel our characters are not suitable for each other. I know that we do have our differences, I can feel it too. She does not feel for me the way a gf should feel for a bf. I can feel that too. But we are only a mth into this relationship. Shdn't we give ourselves more time to know each other better?

I tot I can be nonchalent abt this relationship. But when I hear it coming from her; the real nonchalence in her voice. "I'll return you your things with me, and I'll return the money you lend me. You give me your bank account no." At that pt, I knew I lost.

What really hurt me is this; she said with her previous bfs, the first mth is always the honeymoon phase. But with us, there's no honeymoon phase. For this relationship, I tried my very best to be the best bf that I can be. But it is still not enough to earn that bit of feelings from her. The feeling of being a bf.

If You Can't Bear To End A Relationship, Then Don't Start It

2006-06-24T19:26:00.000+08:00

I'm paying the price again, but I'll see the light again.

The Week After

2006-05-28T12:44:00.000+08:00

1 week into my attached life, I found that it wasn't as bad as I feared it would be. Unexpected, but glad certainly. The only change in my life is that now I've got someone to constantly sms and call. Now comes into play my ability to manage time between my gf and frens. The previous few times I had a gf, I practically cut myself off from my frens. It happened with Xiaowei and Huimin on both occassions that we were together. This time round, hopefully it'll be a bit different.

Jess wants her own social life, and I hope to preserve mine as well; sth like a less restrictive relationship. For the 1 week that we were together, she have gone out with her own frens instead of meeting me on 2 occassions. Though I'm fine with it, but the pangs of jealousy will still hit at the beginning. I'll have to soothe my own mind and tell myself that it is for the best of both parties. Of coz I'll still be worried when she's out with other guys; most guys have got their own agenda too. Takes 1 beast to know another eh? Haha

Attached

2006-05-23T22:51:00.000+08:00

The curse has been broken.

After I broke up with Min 6 yrs ago in 2001, this is the first time I'm holding another gal's hand whom I can call my girlfriend. Ok, I'm discounting a lot of things here. Haha. I did hold Min's hand again in 2003, but she is essentially the same person. I held Shannon's hand but I did not regard her as my gf, and I held Princess' hand and both of us did not treat eash other as bf/gf. Well, so that kind of make her the first after 6 years.

But then..... it does feel kinda weird. To be holding a gal's hand again after all these years. To start the "getting to know each other" phase all over again. In some ways, I must say I sort of forgotten how to be a bf. I'm simply too used to the carefree ways, and when with Min, it was different cos I knew her virtually all my life, ntg there for me to get used to. I'm still trying to be myself totally when we are together, trying to establish the flow between us cos I think we're still pretty raw to each other. (What do u expect, when we only known each other for 1 week.)
I felt pretty dumb at times, gotta give way and humour a 20 yr old when I'm at a grand old 26.
Prob that comes with being a bf, regardless of age, but somehow I still feel undermined.

To start things off, it was weird cos it happened by sms. We confirmed our status via sms, and yest was the first time out as a couple. I have qualms abt the serious-ness of this relationship, cos I started it off on the wrong note, by being a big cai-tao. (As usual, what's new?I think I one-up Eugene again... haha) If this relationship is built on the basis of a cai-tao bf, I'm afraid it's not gonna last very long. Well, this is sth which remains to be seen.

Andy The Condemned

2006-04-24T00:21:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I think I deserved to be condemned; for how fast I switch my attention from 1 gal to another. Starting from last yr, first it was Liz, then to Gillian, then to Vellene, then to Jessie, then to Cynthia, then to Priscilla, then now to Michelle. All within the span of 1.5 yrs. I think no gals can stand that. If only they knew abt it. I guess I just can't build up sth on a consistent basis whenever I see that it might go nowhere. There was once upon a time in my life when I would have just waited or tried and tried and tried till I couldn't try any more. That was in JC 2 with Sandy. Maybe I got scared after that. Hate me if you must, I guess it's just me...

Today there was an KTV outing with Jianping, Johnny, Shaun and 2 other gals whom I just got to know yest nite at Union Square. Everything was nice n well, till nearing the end of the outing when I just have to screw it up. I made some dumb-ass statement to 1 of the gal which culminated in her being extremely pissed and upset. After which they left earlier as it would have gotten too awkward to stay together further. I really do not know, n do not have the intention nor bearing any ill-will in what I said. Just the usual crap that I churned out when I'm in my bosterious mood. Things that were meant to be heard and forgotten.

Who knows that would result in her being upset. At first I was feeling pretty nonchalent, as I felt it wasn't my fault. There was no way in hell I could have known abt it. Nonetheless, I sms her using JP's hp to apologise. But till I reached home, I was still feeling pretty fucked up abt the whole incident. I wanted someone to talk to, n Michelle have to fly my plane after agreeing to meet me n I have bought her tau hway. Hell...

The Future; What Does It Holds?

2006-04-20T16:55:00.000+08:00

Oh well, just when I tot she will mysteriously disappear, she appear again right that nite on msn and started andy-ing me. So she's back again, and I think my paranoia got the better of me the other time; to cause me to even be slightly upset. Ok, must get this right again. I'm the player, not the one being played. No emotions attached. (How can I violate my own rule that I told Laling.. haha.. nv allow the gal to feel that you are even a tiny bit hard up for her) Or maybe I'm just a coward. Laling said that I always tend to back out when it's time to get serious. Actually I knew that too, just that I feel more confident when I'm simply fooling ard than when I get serious. So just let it be lah... I really dun wan to care anymore. Just do what I feel like when I feel like it. Live for the moment !

Anyway, just to backtrack a little while to sth interesting that happened last week while I was with Michelle. We went out for lunch at an Indian restaurant at Upper Bt Timah called Indian Banana Leaf Restaurant. It was actually pretty good, just that it left me with a real upset tummy for the next several days. Then while we were there, she said she wanted to take me to see this fortune teller woman that she's been to. At first I refused, cos I'm really not too into all this. But she just keep asking n asking till I just decide to give in n go have a look for myself. So we made our way to Beauty World PLaza where her shop was situated.

Alright, the following is what she told me. The first part is based on my date and time of birth, cross reference with some books she has. After giving her my birth details, she started off asking if I have purchase any car, hse, etc this yr. Well, of coz no to all, till she got ntg else to ask n ask if I bought hp, which in fact I did. Then the advice was to go n buy 4D with my hp number. (Guys, dun bother to do it if u r reading this now cos that was actually 2 weeks ago already. The numbers would have struck last week shd it be true. I din check of coz. haha) The next thing she said abt my personal life really jolted me. It spooked me, pissed me, irritated me, fucked me up, whatever u wana call it. She infered that someone in my family will pass away this yr, be it myself or my parents. Either that or I'm going overseas for a long period sort of thing. That got me a bit worked up, cos if that's what u have to say then u might as well fuck off and die. Well, it's 1 thing if u predict sth bad abt myself, cos i'm not likely to be bothered by it. But it's another thing totally if u get my family involved. I wun be able to just shrug it off like if it was abt myself. Nonetheless, I kept my cool and just get on with the fortune telling. I'm not gonna let myself be fazed by this. She went on to other things:

Career. She said I'm suitable for starting my own biz as my mind is shrewd enough; that I have intention to quit my current jog but instead shd hold on n not quit within this yr; my career would be at its peak when i'm 42 yrs old, prob that is ard when I should start my own biz or earlier.

Love life. In my life, gals would be very nice to me. My future wife would be someone from overseas, and I would get married at 31. (That would simply make my chee hong-ing locally come to ntg but naught. Hell... let's not waste any more efforts then. Haha) Even if I were to get married or attached before then, it would not be meant to last.

Health. She told me not to buy car this yr, and shd preferably avoid driving even. (Shucks, what's gonna happen to my car rental!)

General. I'm someone who would look for sources of physical pleasure when I'm single. (Reads: would pay for sex) And she has to say this in front of Michelle. Damn! She went on to amend her statement, saying that I'm someone who enjoys night life a lot, always going clubs and pubs and bars and ktv, etc

Past life. I'm an Indian! A religious one at that. So this life, I have affinity with Indians, that Indians get along well with me and Indian gals would tend to like me. (!!!!)

Next she asked if I want to read my palms. (This actually cost me another 20 bucks which I did not know initially) She took a look at my left palm, and told me sth shocking; that I had intended to get married during my early 20s. I dunno what to think. It's true that I do think of marrying Min that time, but then again, which couple dun inevitably think of marriage?

Lotsa other miscellaneous stuffs that she mentioned which I din really retain in my mind. Then Michelle also wanted to have her palms read. So she told her that her prince charming is someone who's already in her life rite now. So the silly took it to meant her current bf and kept pressing her for confirmation. And what she can give r just vague answers that do not address the qn specifically. So that made my silly gal so happy. WTH?

Sometimes, pple would sub-consciously live their life the way the fortune-teller told them it would play out. Basing their decisions in life on what the fortune-teller had dictate abt their life. Just like how it works with horoscope. Pple would unknowingly start to behave in the way their horoscope says of their characteristics. That is how these kinda think affects pple. It really gets into their mind. Even for a non-believer like myself, I can't totally get rid of what she said after hearing it. But I'm not gonna succumb to that. I am a firm believer of ntg else but myself. The man of indomitable will. Period.

Goodbye

2006-04-15T03:07:00.000+08:00

All good things must come to an end. I'm putting a stop to it. It can't go on like this. I dun wish to have any more of this kind of relationship.

There's no other way, than to say goodbye... Michelle

Drive Cai

2006-04-09T15:08:00.000+08:00

At 25 plus yrs of age, I did my first 'drive cai out to play' ! The end result, to put it simply, is a big hole in my pocket and an after feeling of which can't be put in words, but can only be described by the expressionless emoticon on msn. (u all shd know which one, the one i always used. haha) And when it comes to driving, u just cannot discount the bobo-ness that might happened to me. My pts shd have gone down quite a few notches in her mind, as she had to direct me the road directions the majority of the time. Well, can't be helped. There has always got to be a first time. Better get discounted with Michelle now than any other gals in the future, as I'm quite comfortable with her nontheless.

Ok, this is going to sound like an episode out of "Starving Emily", directed and produced by King of Cai Tao, Eugene Lee. But after the screening of my episode, I'll be in running contention with Eugene for Oscar award for Cai Tao of the year. It all started out with a simple KTV session at kbox at Lot 1. This is the 1st time I'm meeting her anyway, and she wants to go sing. Kbox on a sat nite; 1st mistake.

Michelle doing a Rainie Yang. (Note the red fingernails)

The ktv session ended pretty early, which got us thinking abt what we're gonna do next. She asked if I could take the car, which I couldn't decline. Declining would prob means cab or home. 2nd mistake. (Come to think of it, maybe cab isn't such a bad idea after all) A few options came up: catch Ice Age 2. Go Zouk. (WTF!!! I shot down this idea within 1 sec) Go enjoy some live band and a drink. (Wala Wala, Indochime Wisma, Timbre) Go for supper. (Arab street, Bt Timah) We decided to Wala Wala in the end. (seriously I wasn't in the mood to go too far) Ok, now the 1st problem arise; I wasn't sure of the route to Holland V. I could prob make my way there if given time on my own, but I did not have this luxury now. So I drove till SIM there and she had to direct me the rest of the way.

The time spent at Wala's was short. We reached and went on top for the live band, which happened to be taking a break at the moment. So we head downstairs fo a drink.

Me & Michelle at Wala's.

We headed upstairs again when we heard the live band starting. The atmosphere upstairs is very good I must say. The live band is good, and there were pple getting out of their seats and dancing to the rythm even. After only abt 15 min there, she said she wanted to leave! (Why! I love live bands!) Mainly cos we have no seats on top. Pretty crowded. =( But I'll be back at Wala's. Definitely.

Now comes more probs. We were looking for a place for supper. She said she likes Indian food, and there's a lot at Arab Street. (Fuck. Where the fuck is Arab Street???) She said she knows the way, so ok, we're on our way again. But..... we ended up lost. We turned into a desolate stretch of derelict shophouses, of which all r closed. Heck. So off we go, topo-ing rd the area trying to find somewhere recognizable to go. In the end, buay tahan already, so I just suggest we backtrack where we come from, and canstop by at Bt Timah there to have supper. But somehow someway, as we were backtracking we happened to pass by Bugis, and she was able to locate Arab Street. Well.. so there we go... Arab Street...

So what remains at Arab Street at 2am in the morning? Not many shops still open, a few Indian cafes here and there. We saw this nice Arabic Cafe still functioning, and decided to check it out. Hmm... this cafe... is really pretty unique a place. Genuine Arabic theme and style. Michelle wanted to try this big cigar smoking aka opium inhaling thingy called a Shisha that they have there. Pity I forgot to take a pic of that contraption. They have different flavors like strawberry, grape, apple, chocolate, coffee, etc. We had a cuppuccino flavor in the end. They had this huge thing like a opium pipe from the past where u have to suck on it. Take it liek a cigarette. There is actually smoke when we exhale, and then what we get is just cuppuccino flavor in your mouth after that.

Decor at the Arabic cafe. A huge golden tin pan hanging on the pillar wall, which keeps swaying in the wind. A bright lamp with unique carvings hanging at the top.

Michelle at the Arabic cafe. The drink in front of her is called an Arabic Ice Tea, which tastes exactly like a normal ice tea.

More path-finding on our way back, which she guide me till we reach Orchard and I can make my way back on my own. I took her back to Windermere and then packed the car at Yew Tee and walked home. The results tally at the end of the day: big hole in pocket. 50 pts down in pts. (She did tell me I already scored 50 pts just being able to talk well with her) So back to 0 pts now. =)

PS : There's ntg to the red fingernails part. She's not a stewardess. Just sth I put in to throw my buddy off track. Wahahaha...

E-Lot?

2006-04-06T10:19:00.000+08:00

Ok, time for sth crappy and a bit overdue. Recently there was this email circulating ard office which is actually an electronic lot-drawing (chinese type of draw lots. Qiu Qian) program. So Everyone had a go at it, n guess what.... I have to end up drawing the xia xia qian.

楚霸王阴陵失道
守静安静安分无尤不须贪望自有优游此笺
意滞之象凡是待时仔细小心

路险马行人去远失群羊困虎相当
危滩船过风翻浪春暮花残天降霜

交易失败家宅尤疑行人阻疾病设送
婚姻不久长六畜损六甲危险失物不见
求财破失田蚕损山坟不利移徒莫动
自身灾寻人省讼词亏

第六十六首

电网关地庙

Looks bad rite? Lemme try to decipher what it actually means:

楚霸王阴陵失道
Literal translation:
Chin Shi Wang losing his way in times of darkness
(So I'm Chin Shi Wang eh? I will get misguided along my way and take the wrong path?)

守静安静安分无尤不须贪望自有优游此笺
意滞之象凡是待时仔细小心
Literal translation:
Keep the silence, be quiet, contended and free from worries. No need for greed, good things shall come naturally. Exercise caution in situations which appears stable.

路险马行人去远失群羊困虎相当
危滩船过风翻浪春暮花残天降霜
Literal translation: (This is the best part of the lot)

The road which the horse travelling on is dangerous, and it will take me to a faraway place. (China?)

The lost sheep is trapped in the midst of the tigers. (The China pple are going to eat me up?)

The ship is sailing through dangerous shores and gailing storm. (Wah.. got more difficult path or not...)

In the dusk of spring, the flowers wither and frost is falling. (Damn cold scene)

Come on ! My future really got that bad or not !!!

交易失败家宅尤疑行人阻疾病设送
婚姻不久长六畜损六甲危险失物不见
求财破失田蚕损山坟不利移徒莫动
自身灾寻人省讼词亏

Literal translation:
Trading/Biz : failure
Marriage : not lasting
Wealth : lose fortune
Self : disaster (gulp!)
Family : worries & suspicions
Livestock : suffer
Dunno what fuck is this : suffer
Looking for pple : save it
Passerbys : hinder
Dunno what the fuck is this either : dangerous
Dunno what's this (though literal translation would take it to mean 'Mountain tomb') : not good
Legal dispute : lose out
Sickness : too cheem to understand
Missing items : continue to be missing (duh)
Moving pple(???) : not to touch

第六十六首
Literal translation:
Lot number 66. (666? Mark of the beast?)

电网关地庙
Literal translation:
Internet temple.

Does it get any worse than this?

I printed out the E-Lot and pin it on my office desktop. I'll look u in the face everyday and see what u can do to me. This is how much I think of u.

WhizzCar !! Wheee.....

2006-04-02T17:14:00.000+08:00

Haha.. this is gonna sound like an advertisement for WhizzCar. Anyway, I just signed up for a car rental service. I gotta re-familiarise myself with the road before I think abt owning a car. Anyway, this agency is gonna bond me for 1 yr, by then which I shd be able to afford a car. So I tried out my first car rental today, and it's going to turn out to be a real bobo.... Well, only at the start lah... hehe

The car was packed on the 4th floor of the multi-storey carpark at Yew Tee. My first car happened to be a Vios. So I digilently followed what's required of me, check the extire of the car for damages, blah blah blah, b4 attempting to drive the car out. And so I tot I better go a few rds in the multi-storey carpark b4 I proceed outside. My road rust is abt to show... Heh heh...

It's a auto car, so it's supposed to move when I release my foot brake, so I was a bit puzzled when it din move. So i stepped on the gas and true enough the car started to move. But there was this horrible skreeching sound which I din know the cause. So I got the car onto the slope leading to the next level, and then it just couldn't move anymore. I applied a little more pressure on the gas but it still wouldn't go. I was afraid to depress all the way as I din wan the car to fly off the building suddenly. So there I was stuck on the slope, not able to go up, and afraid to reverse down as well. Then it struck me that I din release the fucking HANDBRAKE !!! Damn, and the car can actually still move when I step on the gas n I can get it all the way up the fucking slope as well. WTF ! The skreeching sound was actually the rear tires that wasn't rotating.

Wah.. fucking big bobo. So I quickly release the handbrake and driving resumed as normal. Tried a bit of parking at the carpark first. Nv tried parking without the fucking poles. Did quite a bad job at first, but improved to be much better when I was back to return car later. So I drove back to cck and asked Mum to be my passenger as we go cruising nearby. Drove to Grandma's place at Jurong East and then to Bt Panjang for a rd b4 I dropped Mum off at home and went back to Yew Tee to return the car. But b4 that, I took a trip to Windermere to see if I can score sth with Michelle. I parked on the slope and called her, but she was out playing badminton at the moment. Bad timing. Anyway, doubt she'll be willing to come down and meet me if I just showed up impromptu like that. We chatted a while on the phone, and then just ended abruptly when it was her time to play. So I just went back to return the car and home I go. First individual driving experience. =)

Salsa By The Beach

2006-04-02T02:49:00.000+08:00

I haven been blogging enough since I worked... Mainly too pre-oocupied during the weekdays, and too lazy during the weekends. Well, at least today there is sth memorable for me to blog abt.
Today was Salsa by the beach !

Was looking forward to this day for quite some time, mainly intrigued by how it is going to take place. Dance on the sand? Dance in beach wear? (Meaning bikinis, bikinis, and more bikinis.... heh heh...) However, I woke up today feeling rather reprehensive abt the whole thing. Cos I skipped salsa the previous nite, plus Lewis would not be going for the beach salsa. So that would mean me being a bit out of touch with salsa as well as with the pple there. Nonetheless, I decide to go for some tanning at Sentosa earlier in the day. I went alone anyway, as Eugene decided not to come. Michi joined me for a short while late in the afternoon. I haven catch up with her for a long while too. She's doing well, with her ebay biz and Crazy Horse job. I not too for her continuing the Crazy Horse, but I think the ebay would be a good venture. I wish I have some sideline at the moment too. It'll be hard surviving on just my fixed salary. I'm not banking much on my annual increment as everyone knows my company reputation when it comes to pay increment. Network marketing's not for me, and I dunno how to gain an entryway into stocks and shares. I lack the necessary financial backgrd as well... Think it'll be pretty hard. Anyway, she came just when 2 cai, of which 1 is a tua neh bu, decide to park beside the place I was lying. Talk abt bad timing.. wahaha (Sorry, Michi =P) Had a short swim b4 she went off n I carried on my wait for the beach salsa at nite.

It turned out to be not too bad after all; the event was held at Bikini Bar. The main dancefloor was actually just the area in front of the pub, which slowly extends to in front of Sakae Sushi and the ice cream parlor. I met the grp, consisting of Jianping, Johnny, Ellen, Renee, Ai Chin and fren at the sentosa terminal and we made out way there. Pris was not with them, but my heart ligthened when I saw Ellen there actually. The main dancefloor as usual was full with the pros and experts. We mainly did rueda during our time there. I found I like rueda more as compared to salsa. Prob cos I can't do salsa as well as the other guys there. I actually tot of taking intermediate level at some other studio, just to make myself practise more. All in all, it was a sticky, sandy, tiring nite, when we did rueda on the sands, played silly games similar as to orientation group times. There was a gal from Clarence's grp that caught my eye. Christine. Short, petite gal, with a face that reminds me of someone which I just quite can't put my finger on it at this moment. Maybe I'll catch her at Union 1 of these days.

We ended up walking out of sentosa as we missed the last bus. I really enjoyed the camaderie. I haven had this kinda grp fun for a long while. Ever since JC orientation days I guess. I have nv really felt as at ease with the JC class pple most of the times we have outings. It's a diff thing after some alcohol of coz, in which case I'll just be as crazy whoever I'm with.

Pris joined us a while later, and most of the time she's not with the grp. Think she was mostly doing salsa on the main floor. She simply has too many guys wanting to dance with her, and too many guy frens basically. I'm taking it a lot better today, as compared to some times at Union. Well, I told myself that I must take it easy with her. By not treating her as someone special, I can better click with her. No hopes, no expectations => no pressure. My mind's a bit on someone else as well; Michelle. (Not to be confused with Michi) My new dear online. More abt her another time.

Group photo of our salsa gang. (Some of which have MIA by now)

Our cranky "heads-tilt-to-the-right" pose.

Our Rueda-mania started way back, where we had our Rueda crash course conducted by Zhiguang and Clarence. Here I am, rueda-ing with Ai Chin.

Here's pretty Pris, with a glistening JP in the foreground.

Here's pretty Pris again, enjoying a dance with Clarence.

And here's the little lass I got to know that nite, Christine (on the far right). We drag her in for our Rueda crash course. She was later known as Miss Tng. =P

Alrite, tonite I revealed all the names of sensitive personnel which I normally would not reveal.
That's cos I've taken my blog link off my frenster. Heh heh heh.. so only the regular followers will know what's going on in my life. Part of the reason I haven been blogging is coz much of the things to blog r names which I can't reveal. Hence might as well dun blog. Well, no more of that!
Read all you wan, know all you want for now! Hell, I shall even ans ur queries if you bother to leave a msg.

You've Made A Fool Of Everyone... Me Mainly...

2006-03-29T16:19:00.000+08:00

Look What You've Done

Take my photo off the world

If it just won't sing for you

'Cause all that's left has gone away

And there's nothing there for you to prove

Oh, look what you've done

You've made a fool of everyone

Oh well, it seems like such fun

Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view

'Cause I just can't think for you

I can hardly hear you say

What should I do, well you choose

Oh, look what you've done

You've made a fool of everyone

Oh well, it seems like such fun

Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done

You've made a fool of everyone

A fool of everyone

I don't want to like you. I know I'd make a fool of myself if I do. But sometimes I can't help it. I dun ask you to dance cos I can't dance as well as others. I dun wan to be there all the time to feel the despair that I can't dance well enough to charm you. I longed to 1 day sweep u off your feet when we're dancing. That day will not come.

Groovy Baby

2006-03-19T04:22:00.000+08:00

Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. That has been my driving force for the past 3 weeks. Is it love for the activity? Or is it some other reason? That's up for debate. Fridays are what I'm looking forward to every week; I even plan my Shanghai trip so as not to miss salsa class. Sat nites which used to be predominantly clubbing nites have became salsa nites for the past 3 weeks as well. And to think I used to think Lewis talks salsa, eats salsa, breathes salsa. It may just be a matter of time b4 I myself become like this. What's happening to me?

Just to close things up for some other chapters: The airport sweetheart/Lorraine saga is officially declared a bust. Her single sentenced sms replies rivals that of the great Daphne. Anyway, not to mislead anyone, but I have only send her a grand total of 2 sms. 2 sms and I can deduce the above. That tells pretty much abt the content of her replies. Until the next airport trip then, sweetheart... =P

Well..... abt Jessie. Ya, right. The same Jessie that I mentioned was on my mind the whole day in a few entries back. I haven seen her ever since the first nite actually... Mostly it's just crapping on msn, or trying to get each other to go club at some place but have nv yet to work out in any case. All in all, she's a nice gal to talk to, crap with, hang out buddy type. But I reckon better not to get too involved with her. Her life style prob could rival Michi's in terms of complications. I'm really not too suited (nor want to) for such biz anymore. Too taxing, too mind-wrenching, and mainly I dun see y I shd get myself involved in the 1st place.

Then there's still Vellene.... right? And of coz there's Miss C. Wrong. Haiz... also dunno how to say. This is working life I guess. It just doesn't allow u to try to date or even get to know someone more on a more regular basis.

So that's that for my scandalous love life. You would've expected sth more rite? Hahaha... Actually I'm holding back. Holding back from going all out. My approach is rather lackadasical. Prob that explains y none seems to work out. No one that could make me wana go all out. But I sense my downfall in her. Another Princess from Sengkang. Just what r the chances of that ? Damn.

(confused? not to worry, the clouds will clear in time to come.)

I've Got The Balls ~

2006-03-10T15:47:00.000+08:00

Oh well, 6 mths after the first meeting, I finally qie my airport sweetheart. It wasn't really dramatic or awkward (to my amazement), but somewhere happened quite naturally. I touched down on Thur nite at abt 10pm. Initially, I wasn't even thinking of going to the duty free area to look ard as I was eager to get home, considering there's still work the next day. But when I reached the area, I just tot to myself "Just walk 1 rd if see if I might see her, it's not gonna take much time anyway". I was not expecting her as the previous few times I saw her was during the day time. So kind of expecting her to work the day shift.

I made 1 rd rd her usual area n saw ntg but little old ladies. Just when I tot it's time to go, I saw her. And she saw me too.

(The following dialogue is based on my vague memory of the conversation that took place, might not be the exact words, but more or less the same idea)

She was quick to say hi.

Lorraine: "Hello, can i help you?"

(I was kinda caught, so I just spoke whatever came to mind. Which happened to be the truth.)

Me: "Oh... I was just dropping by to see if I might see you ard."

Lorraine: "Oh izit? Where are you going this time?"

Me: "I just got back from Shanghai, erm... btw, do you remember who I am?"

(I know this sounds like an idiotic qn, but I gotta make sure you see?)

Lorraine: "Ya, of coz I do. I just can't remember where you told me you're going last time."

(Hmmm... how true it is that she remembered, I wun know. I shd have tested it out there and then. Shucks.)

Me: "Oh, I went to Shanghai also. it's the only place I've been going so far."

Lorraine: "Oic... it's nce of you to drop by to see me.. blah blah blah.."

The conversation went on to topics like what's the latest men's perfume, what time her shift ends, and other minor details. Till it was almost time to get going, I was still wondering how I could get some contact details and decide to maybe just fuck it. So I said:

Me: "I guess I shd get going." (Turn to go)

Lorraine: "Hey, I haven gotten your name yet."

(Fuck, it's now or never!)

Me: "Oh.. I'm Andy, and you r Lorraine rite? Eh... would u like to keep in contact?"

(That's it, the magic words are out)

Lorraine: ".... sure."

She actually asked for my card, but I din have any with me. Plus my card doesn't have my hp number anyway. So I just asked her for her number and said I'll give her a miss call later.

I turned and left, feeling like I have balls of steel. But in actual fact, I din really do anything. It simply just happened.

I dropped her a sms while I was on the cab on the way home, which she did not reply. Not too frenly for a start, but then today Pris just told me she replied my sms which I did not receive. Maybe it's my hp prob?

Work Work Work...

2006-02-28T19:52:00.000+08:00

Work work work.... (sounds like what the peon said in Warcraft III? hehe) Yes. Work and more work. I'm been tasked with more n more stuffs, permanent projects, not the arrows like Kaizen and year-end function like last time. Well... isn't that a good thing? Frankly speaking, I feel I'm being under-utilized managing only 1 project. Feel that I dun even need to use half my potential. So isn't it a good thing now that I've got more?

Well... how shall I put this? I feel like I'm not being appreciated. My colleagues seemed to be the ones that r getting good reviews from my boss. Cos their customers are giving them more problems and henceforth has more job to be done. It's not my fault my program is running smoothly ya? Sheesh... I do have my fair share of probs too ya? Anyway, fuck it. The feeling of being under-appreciated makes me lose the drive to excel, to strife for more. I've been more or less in a slump lately, more looking forward to my fri and sat nites than at work.

I guess I better snap out of it. Work work work...

Life After Work...

2006-02-26T23:10:00.000+08:00

Heh.. unknowingly, I have been blogging for more than a yr already. (Though recent entries r less frequent due to my hectic work which deprives me of anything interesting to blog abt) Ever since I started work, I've been thinking frequently abt upgrading myself; be it career-wise or social-wise. To learn new things, to pick up new hobbies and activities.

In terms of leisure, I start with picking up salsa. Unknowingly, I have already progressed till the middle of Intermediate level already, but still I feel like an amateur. Most prob the result of a lack of practise. I still dun have the confidence to just ask a gal for a dance, as I would not be spontaneous enough to execute just any moves that come to mind; to lead the gal without messing things up. I still rely too much on memorising or planning in mind what moves I wana do. The past few times at Union Square I did not really enjoy myself as I'm actually restricting myself, not daring to just ask someone for practise. Till last fri I was there. B4 I go I was still hesitating as I was expecting it to be just another boring session there. Then I just decide to fuck it and go n try to get as much out of my time there as I could.

Just as I was making my way to Union Square on the 2nd floor of Amara Hotel, I met Priscilla, 1 of only 2 gals in my Salsa class that's worth a 2nd glance. We chat as we made our way to Union, and somehow I felt that I would actually enjoy myself this nite. (A babe for company certainly helps any cause, u see?) Well, in the end I actually did enjoy myself that nite, just being pro-active and mixing ard with the pple from class that were there that nite. I'm even thinking of going on to learning Barcharta and Rueda after Salsa. They r planning a ktv outing next week, but very likely I'll have to miss that. Dunno what time I'll be back from Shanghai. =(

Apart from dance, I've developed a liking for live band performances. Any place for chilling and with a decent live band performing would be an ideal place for a weekend nite's out. Booze, smoke, music, babes. Hard to resist this kinda combination ya? I like the band outside Indochime at Wisma. The indoor female band isn't half bad as well. Yest just been to Timbre where the live band is similar to watching a concert. Loof is a very good hang out place as well, as a lack of live band.

Well... career-wise.... I would like to learn abt investing. Anyone who can give me any guidance or any courses I can attend? I would like to pick up financial accouting as well, would have took up the CFA course with Shuling had company not signed me up with a commerical law course, which I have no idea when it'll start.

In And Out Of Love

2006-02-21T18:20:00.000+08:00

Judging by the title of this post, you mere mortals out there are likely to think its abt my love life again rite? Wrong. Well, for once at least. There simply hasn't been anything in the least interesting or scandalous abt my social life for the past few mths. I guess can say from the time I started working. So much so that I resorted to blogging abt my love stories in NTU, and just when I tot I can get sth going with Miss C, it got quenched just as fast.

The past few days, I literally witnessed the demise of my buddy who fell out of love. The scene is eerily reminiscent of what happened 1 yr plus ago (not happened on me, it's happened on him as well), just maybe worse this time rd. He just can't help but to destroy his chances of getting back together at every opportunity he has. Not that I could have done any better if I was in his shoes. I went thru this before, and every attempt or stunt that I try to pull, it brings her further and further away from me and deeper and deeper into someone else's arms.

Cooling off period. Might as well call it break-up. Period. Ntg good has ever come out of a cooling-off period that I heard of. It is just an excuse to allow the party that wanted out to have time to get accustomed to singlehood again; during that time off which she can chose to go back to the guy if she dislikes the imminent singlehood, or to simply assimilate a single's lifestyle if she prefers it that way. Sounds unfair? Well, this IS unfair. This is life. The real world as I like to call it.

So many infamous quotes were thrown out during times of depressions like this. I only subscribe to 2 of them which I always tell my close frens who suffers from relationship break-ups.

Door of Happiness

"When the door of happiness closes on you, another opens. But often, we looked so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us"

Serenity Prayer

"God gave me the courage to change the things that I can, and the serenity to accept the things that I cannot, and the knowledge to tell the difference"

There's a even simpler one with only 3 words. Life goes on...
It might sound so damn cliched, but these 3 simple words reflects the truth so much that it
hurts.

Brother, this entry is for dedicated for you. You sms me the Door Of Happiness quote when I broke up with Min in 2001 and I remembered it till today. I hope you can put it to good use now. Get your feet back on the ground soon.

A Walk Down Memory Lane

2006-02-09T15:11:00.000+08:00

Went to Queensway with Lewis the other day to accompany him to buy PS2. The new version so sleek and small, make my bulky old counterpart look like shit. But1 thing is, its cd rom is the open up type, not the sliding type. Might be prone to failure easily i tot. Anyway, b4 we got there, we took a walk ard IKEA cos he wanted to buy a box to contain all his momentos from JC times, sec sch times, etc. He found a metal container, and I bought 1 for myself too seeing that it was quite cheap and nice.

So where is all this box-buying leading to, and how is it related to the title of this entry?

Well, yesterday I was sorting out all my old letters and cards and stuffs from JC and sec sch times - to be chucked into my new blue metal box and be relegated to oblivion. But just b4 relegation, I just decide to open up a few and read thru it. A walk down memory lane. It brought back more than just memories, mostly the letters that I received in JC.

During that time, I corresponded with a number of pple: mainly Meifang, Kaixin, Hilda, and of coz Xiaowei. I read all the Xiaowei letters first. Well, our letters were mainly abt our arguments. Usually after we quarrel, we'll end up writing letter to each other, to tell each other how disappointed we r. And I actually have quite a few of those letters. There were some after we broke up too. ( mainly she wrote to me to tell me how lousy I am)

I started writing to Meifang and Kaixin in yr 2 of JC. Corresponded the most with Meifang. We wrote countless letters to each other during that 1 yr, and subsequently for a part of 1999 while I was in the army and yet to have Min as a gf. I guess gradually stopped writing after I got attached. And partly cos of the emergence of internet at home and the purchase of a handphone. More modes of communications are made possible thru these 2 inventions. When we can simply sms or chat online with frens instead of snail mail of the past and phonecalls. (And it is exactly these that made me lose my infamous chee hong skills)

Reading thru these letters, 1 fact stared me in the face. I have changed. Changed into someone completely different from who I used to be back in those days. Most prob pple would ask "Got meh?" Of coz the exterior hasn't changed, I still joke ard and crap ard with everybody on the preface. But it's my mind that's changed. Guess no one really knows me much from the past, as is the present. Actually I believe even until today, my close frens dun really know the real me.

I used to be a dreamer. I used to believe in love. My mentality was pure and to a extent, naive. I used to like to express how I feel thru song lyrics (I still do now, just that I don't tell pple abt it) I love to do that, cos it seemed so poetic, so coincidence that someone is singing what's happening to you. Now I'm a cynic. When it comes to love, I'm skeptical. Maybe it's what I went thru. Maybe it's what I witness from my frens and the pple ard me. I became a realist. In a sense, this is the real world. No longer like the world we imagine when we were still innocent teenagers at sch. Well, at least I'm prepared for the real world now. (which was after I went thru whatever that came my way)

Back To Square One

2006-02-08T11:41:00.000+08:00

Back to square one. Lalala ~

I'm Reduced To A Wreck Again

2006-02-06T01:04:00.000+08:00

I'm a miserable wreck....

I'm finding mounting pressure on myself whenever I chat with Miss C. It's affecting me like how it was during the first time with Gillian. So the conversation always ended up sounding kinda polite and formal, hard to establish the flow which comes with simply relaxing and talking crap.
This is preventing me from even trying to call and chat on the phone. If I can't even get sth going online, what r the chances of doing it over the phone?

Y m I suffering from this again? I tot I'm pass that phase already. Or is liking her really putting on that much pressure on me? I'll have NIL chances if I dun even make phone calls to her. Now I can just talk crap with Miss J online, since the crush has already passed. The prob lies with Miss C now. Y is it always like this?

The Allure Of C

2006-02-01T19:23:00.000+08:00

Ah... I have decided to cast aside my NTU Love Story for a while, as it doesn't seem too popular as reflected by the number of comments; a grand zero. Yeah, who cares abt what this beast went thru in NTU anyway??? We're all more interested in the present love story, ain't that rite??? Hehehe...

Erm.. for a start, there isn't much of a love story currently to speak of. Maybe things r just starting to get interesting. Well that's where all the fun part of being in love lies rite? The part when everything seem so uncertain; n u r being kept on ur toes, second-guessing what every little movement of her fingers might mean, when she could just be whisking away a fly. (Oh man, my heart is just not suited for this kind of excitement no more)

Actually my heart remains relatively unmoved, but it's just a few things which even I was shocked to noticed abt myself, that made me think that this gal is actually starting to gain a foothold in my heart. Let's just call her C. (I hope to hell she doesn't read my blog)

We went clubbing with a few common frens, namely E, D, S and another C which I shall call C2. (Heh.. not much help here) C was supposed to join us at a later time, and prior to her arrival, D was asking me how I'm feeling abt seeing C later. I tried to consider the qn seriously, sth like a gauge on whether I'm really into her; if I'm really excited or happy to see her. (Whether if i have the "heart as though little deer anyhow whack" feeling) I actually felt pretty normal, of coz looking forward to seeing her, but not having the butterflies in stomach kinda feeling. And when she turns up, I made a shocking discovery!!! I found myself hesitating to smoke in her presence!!! So I ended up not smoking the whole nite when she was with us. Usually I dun give a damn what gals would think of my smoking habits, but for her, I am actually hesistant to let her know that I smoke. Just a pt which I found pretty illogical.

Anyway, that clubbing nite was the last time I saw her, and that happened ard 2 weeks back. We correspond mainly on msn n using sms; I have yet to attempt to do a phonecall. Till now, we r still relatively formal frens. There is still that awkward politeness in our msn n sms conversations. D told me that C questioned her if I call all my female frens babe, as I called her babe a couple of times. Last weekend after clubbing, I came closest to doing sth fantastic. I pretty much did it without thinking, (was rather high after the Graveyard) I sms C goodnite n told her I missed her. I din get a reply for the whole day next day, n I tot I prob blew it n scared her away; Till at nite when we talked on msn. She asked if I was drunk the previous nite, n I got to say sth lame that I probably was...

NTU Love Story Year 2 Sem 1

2006-01-21T23:27:00.000+08:00

The Day came and went without any fanfare. I did not pop the qn, neither did anything spectacular happened. But we did go out consecutively for 3 days prior to the The Day. At first I wasn't even supposed to go out with her on my birthday. Till on the actual day itself, I found myself without any program. I had purposely made myself free on that day, JUST IN CASE I can get sth going with Gillian. (And my mates more or less knew I have in mind to try some stunt, so they had decided not to jio me for anything on that day)

She had sth on that day already, but upon knowing I've got no programs, she did ask if I wana do anything. So she actually cancel her apptment to go out with me, which I tot was really nice of her. Well, the reason I din pop the qn was cos I kind of pop the semi-qn like just a few days b4 that, (which is to say I tried to test water) and the result came back negative. She wasn't really that into me yet. Yet. I tot that was the keyword. Well, it really IS the keyword, but another unmentioned keyword here is TIME. I tot I would just continue the pursue, as she has started to change her opinion of me as someone who generally fools ard - cast the net and see what u might get in it kind of guy. (Ok, some of u r gonna disagree on this, we shall debate that another time. At least let me look good in this blog entry first ya? =P) I told her abt my relationship with Min and how it went awry, n how it put so much hate into me. That time it still took a lot out of me when I relate my failed relationship. She could see the emotions in my face. How much I actually feel abt things. So after the June holz it did seem like we might be getting somewhere.

I can't be more wrong.

Things got progressively downhill after that. There were arguments. Actually I dun understand how there can be arguments. I mean we r not even an item yet. And already we r disagreeing on issues and end up arguing. Most times over my lack of sensitive-ness. And 1 major incident over who's gonna bring Xinyi to Orange during her faculty bash. To cut the story short, towards mid September, she deemed us as near-to-impossible to be together. I tried to hold on for a while, but somethings r just too much for me to take at that time. With that, the story ends...

The setting shift back to NTU.

I started wondering, y I keep having 'extra-marital' affairs like this instead of just trying to concentrate on the crops in my own sch. Vicinity is the key, ain't it? And hence I start my crop harvesting plan in NTU. Heh heh...

Due to my shy (what !!??) nature, I only got aquainted with 1 new gal this sem. OK, that's crap. I'm going to admit what a jerk I am actually. Be prepared. I do selective fren-making. It helps if u r a babe. (Oh man, it helps a lot!) Not to say I shun un-babeish gals, just that I wun hong u as much. (I'm so gonna expect numerous flamings for saying this) Anyway, I dare say it is true for most guys. They just dun admit it anyway. Anyway, since they have broken up the class that we have in yr 1, this sem I'm pretty much on my own. I dun really plan my timetable with my mates as I have my own agenda, dun wana compromise anything shd I need to plan with frens who happen to have conflicting timetables. I operate alone for most things anyway.

So for the early part of this sem, the gal in qn I got to know was Christine. We happen to share the same Comm Skills class. (What better class to know gals than this?They r practically teaching u how to communicate. Whahaha!!!) Anyway, I heard stories abt a Miss Sg pageant gal in my cohort but till now then I'm able to place a face on this person. Well, Christine wasn't really my kind of gal, but she deserves special mention since she appear in my NTU life anyway.
We got on relatively well, where I often help her with stuffs like notes n reminding her of impt dates. (She tells me she get constant reminders from frenscos she blur like sotong) Hell, I virtually helped everyone with their notes and stuffs.

This was also the sem that I got to know my hottest babe of NTU, Jiani and Vivian. Vivian was Rebecca's fren, whom I caught occasional glimpses of during my 1st year. This sem, Yingying would meet Rebecca for lunch on every Tuesdays, and Vivian would join them. Yingying asked me along too, and that's how I got to know her. Coupled with occasional chance meetings on our way to sch, and the fact that we both from MPE, we gradually began to hang out together more n more. The interesting things with Vivian start only in the next sem, for now everything is still quiet on that front.

The way I got to know Jiani was even more championship; sth better not to be revealed here. Haha. I got to know her during the EID period during the Dec holidays. Everyday I would gladly go for EID with the hope of seeing her. Our first meeting (initially we r more of like virtual frens) was when she wants to take some notes from me and we had a short meeting at Suntec. She was working part-time at a pub at Tanjong Pagar that time, n various times I wanted to go check it out and see her but she wasn't really in favor of the idea. Towards the starting of sem, we actually planned our timetables to share some common classes. With that, I started the next sem full of hope.

NTU Love Story Year 1 Sem 2

2006-01-16T10:17:00.000+08:00

I found renewed vigor during sem 2 of my 1st yr. Primary reason being: I now have a target. I started seeing Gillian, though not on a very regular basis. Sth like once every 2 weeks, or sometimes even in a month. Though I did not actually progress very far, I did start to get on the nerves of another suitor - Bamboo.

I remembered during on our 1st date, after the day's event n I was seeing her home, Bamboo made an unexpected appearance below her block. The conversation went like this:

Gillian : Hey, y r u here?
Bamboo: Cos I miss you mah.
Gillian: Blah blah blah
Bamboo: Blah blah blah
.
.
.
Bamboo (to me) : Thanks for sending her back.
Me (to myself) : Who the fuck r u to thank me for sending her back???

It gets worse as the sem goes along. There was once when we went out to watch "My Sassy Girl". The whole date was plagued by phonecalls from Bamboo, asking where she was, whether she can meet him cos he's feeling very dejected, etc. It gotten so bad that we gotta consider whether we shd buy an additional ticket just to have him here so that he can see Gillian n put his mind at ease. Weirdo !!! Not to forget the UK Funfair incident. He turned up unexpectedly, when I was supposed to be going with only Gillian and Xinyi. It was hard enough for me to make conversation that time, n his presence made it even worse.

When I went over to NUS to meet Gillian to study, he would purposely make himself in the vicinity, seat at nearvy tables, go for meals together, just wanting to be somewhere ard. Strange that I wasn't really bothered by him back then. Maybe I just felt that he wasn't much of a threat. But now as I blog, the tot of his actions made is making my blood boil! Just where in the world do u find such a loser??? Eventually, they fell out due to some dubious rumours that he supposedly started circulating.

Well, Part 2 of the Shiyi saga happened ard this time. Out of nowhere she suddenly asked if I wana study together for the coming exams. Later I found that she had just broken up with her bf as he had another gal. So we did studied together at her hall study room for a couple of times, and heading into the holidays, it seemed that I would have trouble on my hand.

But trouble it seemed, wanted no part of me. I did make it clear that Gillian was the gal I like, though I still go out with Shiyi more for companion purposes, as she has spent 4 lifeless yrs with her ex-bf n wasn't really close to many of her frens at that time. My dates with Gillian hit an all-time high during the holz. We went to Sentosa for the Sandsation exhibition, we went out for movies frequently, and it seemed as my birthday became imminent, I wanted to make it THE DAY - the day to pop the qn.

NTU Love Story Year 1 Sem 1

2006-01-15T03:58:00.000+08:00

When I look back upon my uni days, 1 thing that would always go down as a regret will be that I did not get a gf on campus thru my 4 years there. Maybe you might say Min is 1, but that was like a brief 1 sem where we were still not officially together. More like rendezvous. Haha. This entry is dedicated to my encounters with the female species during my 'eventful' 4 yrs in NTU.

I had not expect to meet many babes being in engineering fac. Had not even bothered to go for orientation camps, as I was too pre-occupied with Weiling and Val during that period prior to sch starting. I din not even feel like socialising much at that moment, still have too much hate in me. There is a class meeting on the 1st day of sch. The only gal that caught my eye in class was Yingying. And of coz Amelia as she became our class rep. The 2 of them happened to be the 2 most presentable gals in a class of 7 gals, inclusive of 2 butches. Marina is a babe as well, but she's a malay, so I shall put her out of the equation.

Some minor interuptions took place during the 1st few weeks of my Uni life, which made me paid lesser attention to the gals in sch. On my first Uni bash of NTU, I met Adeline. It was my birthday that nite. She was crush at first sight, I would say. I had not met anyone quite as beautiful before. It would seemed like a birthday wish come true if I could have her as a gf. The fiasco lasted a grant total of 2 weeks. I was with Eugene n Lewis at SOS the nite we met her. N I knew Eugene to be interested as well. Though he did not tell, I could sense that sth was going on. It was a really freaky experience.

I remember 1 particular incident. I had asked Lewis n Eugene to go catch a movie together but Eugene said he couldn't make it. I sense sth wrong. I purposely asked Lewis abt it to which he gave some excuse abt a army fren outing for Eugene. I sense sth even more wrong. I decided to give Adeline a call, to see if I would catch them unaware. She lied her way thru. But somehow I knew they were out together. I verified that 1 yr down the road. Lewis and Eugene both knew but kept it from me. In fact I was glad they did that, cos I might have gone bonkers had they let me knew it at that time. Not that I'm blaming anyone for it, just that for that moment I might not have taken it well n end up putting a scar on our frenship.

I did not know all that at that time, but I could sense Adeline's dis-interest as well. I went down to Westmall where she's working at Guardian Pharmacy to meet her a couple of times. The 1st time was quite ok, she agreed to go for a drink after her work. Subsequent times the response gotten more n more lukewarm. Despite the obvious hints, I still went on to tell her that I like her, which of coz was met with a rejection. My agression lessen after that, n it ends when I saw her by chance, together with a ah-beng-like creature whom she confirmed is her new bf.

Who would have guess Weiling would come popping back into my life at this period. We had ended on a very bad note previously, but in view of her imminent O levels, she was asking me to help her with her sch work. I can't reject, since she made a open request abt it. It would be too ungentlemanly to refuse her. Though this time I kept my distance, tried not to be too enthu abt her as I dun wan to end up playing a fool again. But that was how it ended up in the end still. A fool.

We met up to study a couple of times at nite after sch, either at Lot 1 or Holland V. I nv questioned her abt her status all the while, as I dun wan to know what's happening in her life.
I guess she was feeling vulnerable as well during that time, n we ended up liking each other for a very brief moment. For her, I've done quite some stupid things that probably ended up not appreciated. I wrote her a 500 word easy to tell her y i like her, in response to the most frequently asked qn for gals - "Why do you like me? " I jokingly asked if I shd write her an essay on that, when she kept asking me the qn. She jokingly agreed, but the eassy became real. I bought her a bouquet of flowers, a mango cake n 2 love deivls that she so liked that time, during her birthday and went to look for her beneath her block. I could tell she was touched, but I guess the feeling did not last long. She was back to her usual 'put aeroplanbe self' after a few days time. It ended when I finally realised she was just going thru a bad patch with her on and off bf at that time. Fooled again. This would not be the 1st time that a gal named Weiling fooled me with a guy named Eric. It would happen again years later, can't believe the freakiness of it.

Finally, end of my 'extra-marital' affairs outside NTU. Haha. All my distractions outside sch was over with, n my focus return to NTU naturally. Return to the gals that I hanged out with in sch.
Yingying is a very nice gal. We used to go home together after lessons as we were the only 2 person in our clique that stays off campus. My 1st sem clique revolves ard these 2 gals, plus some other guys Ronggui, Zhenyang, Mark mainly. We were together for the most of my 1st yr, until we streamed to MPE and EEE. Nothing special ever happened between us b4, though many mistook us to be a couple. She's just a very easy person to get along with, and partly cos I think I subconsciously prevent myself from stepping over the line as she has a bf all the while. I dun go for attached gals, that was my principle back then.

Once she told me sth her bf did during their courtship that made her feel touched. The guy called her to see how she's doing when she did not attend sch cos she was sick. A very simple gesture, but it means a lot to her. Then she actually did the same for me, when I was sick and did not go to sch during 1 of the EID days. She knew abt it thru Zhenyang n co. as she happened to bump into them in sch. That time we had already streamed to MPE and EEE. But the same nite, she called me n asked how I was doing. It made me feel so guilty as I wasn't really sick. I just told that to my EID grp as I was out clubbing the previous nite and simply too tired to go to sch the next day. We just talked briefly, as that time I had already lost the technique of phone conversations, all thanks to the wonders of modern technology which allows pple to chat online.

She was 1 of the fewer gals that I called or called me on a frequent basis. Sometimes during exam times, she would call just to complain abt being stressed. Though we sometimes joked abt being together, it was more of a pal-ly pal-ly feeling between us mostly.

Amelia wasn't really my cup of tea back then. She was a bit too angmoh for my liking at that time. A kandang as one would say. Well, time changes pple and now I no longer have preferences over kandangs n non-kandangs, (just not too extreme cases) but now we r more pals than anything. For the most part of our uni days, she also was attached, though now single n available. (heh heh... =P)

Din have much chance to know gals outside of class, except for lab lessons where we ususally combined with adjacent classes. That was where I noticed Shiyi. She is this cute petite gal with braces, more adorable than anything. Our initial pt of contacts were simply "Hi-s" and smiles whenever we passed by each other. I waited till the last day of papers, where I felt I simply got to do sth b4 the impending holidays when I wouldn't get to see her for 2 mths. She was always sitting a few seats away from me in the exam halls so i timed my exit at the end of the paper so as to catch her outside the hall. Can't remember exactly what I said to her when I met her outside. I think it was some shit like it's a tough paper or some crap. Then I just blurted out if I could have her number. She seem shocked but surprisingly, she just gave it to me. Hence I accomplished my mission on the last day of sch and was going to have a holiday where I could look forward to try to ask her out. Or so I tot....

At the start, her responses were cold. No replies, or single worded replies whenever I sms her. I could more or less sense her dis-interest, but I'm not gonna let up so easily. Till she put it blatantly that she has a bf, then did I let up. So after that I just took her to be a normal fren, as my principle still stands that time, and even if I wanted to try, I dun think it would get me anywhere except to bang wall. That was the end of her story. Or so I tot at that time....

The part 2 din come until next sem, during which in the Dec holidays I got to know a gal. She would go on to impact my life in a way no other gal has did since Min, for the next few yrs to come. Gillian.

Some history lesson. Thru Xinyi, whom we met at SOS on that fateful when we met Adeline, I got introduced to her other chio good fren. Gillian. After chatting online for a few mths, we agreed to meet up. It was a pretty uneventful first date, I was like a block of stone. I lost all my mojo at that time. No dating skills whatsoever. I guess that was what did me in eventually. But I did manage to hold on for a pretty long time. Nv since Sandy have I like someone for so long. We met during the Dec holidays, and the courtship took off in the next sem.

Some Feelings Never Die

2006-01-01T17:46:00.000+08:00

It's been a whirlwind 2 weeks since my last trip to Shanghai, which coincide with my last entry as well. December is usually the most-awaited month, and it pass by just like that, with all the holidays and feative celebrations.

I remember my age-old saying, that weird things happen in December. Brings back the JC memories of 97 & 98. The same pple whom I proclaimed was most precious to me, prior to my enlistment. The class of 97S16. We did not keep together as a whole thru-out these yrs, but everytime we met up, the bonds nv seemed to have been broken. Been mixing ard with my JC mates slightly more regularly in December, thus invoking such feelings I guess.

Yiling, Shuling, Sandy, Eugene, Lewis & I gathered for a nite of board game fun at Eugene's Farrer place on Xmas eve. Next we attended James wedding on the 26th, and then there was the New Year Eve party at Zouk last nite, where Sandy, Candice, Yiling, Shuling Eugene & I went for. This is actually the 1st time that I clubbed with the class gals in a long while I guess, barring those miniscule pubbing nites at Samsara eons ago. It actually happened to be Shuling's 1st clubbing experience, from the looks of which I think she enjoyed herself quite a bit. =)

Work is taking up too much of my energy to really pursue my love life. I just could not gather the energy to be initiative, to ask gals out, to try to make sth happen. It might be so far there's no gal who has a pronounced effect on me to want it happen so bad. So I've just been passively moving along, taking a chance at what might come my way. But this is not the way I want things to be, I prefer to choose what I want, who I want. I don't want to compromise no more.

At the same time, some feelings never really die. I think Min will be in my heart for the rest of my life. I truely believe we were meant to be together, had we not been so stubborn, so wilful in our youth. We did not cherish each other, but she lives on in my mind forever.

I was on Gillian's frenster site and saw she posted the pic we took together at her convocation with Xinyi. I dun know what that meant. She is supposed to be disgusted with me. It might not mean anything after all. She was another 2nd chance which I had blown. It might have been for the better, cos till now I'm still not very convinced we might be compatible. I used to not believe in character clashes until I met her.

Another feeling that did not die. I always tot it did, but apparently it resurfaced. Well, it happened ages ago, and this one I'm pretty sure there wun be any 2nd chance. There wasn't any 1st chance to begin with. I dun even wan to mention names, it might cause too much controversy.

Some feelings did die anyway, and I'm glad that they died. I met up with Princess 2 weeks ago. It was an impromptu idea, when we chatted online during my overtime. We met up and went for dinner at Bishan for sushi. I dun feel much for her anymore. Looking back, it seemed dumb how I could have been so distraught over it all last yr.

3rd Trip

2005-12-14T16:33:00.000+08:00

Back from my 3rd Shanghai trip, where I was required to give a presentation in Mandarin. I suck big time; but really impressed at the eloquence of my boss, be it whether in eng or mandarin. The meeting got kinda ugly, cos of Mr X, from the way I see it, is actually quite an incompetant man. Only his history in the army gave him some stature from which he accomplishes what he has done so far. A bit of of a background advantage. And these fucking Chinese men whom were from the army in the past have a habit of using the word 'qiang bi' ie: to be shot. Everything also wan to qiang bi. The only thing thats gonna be qiang bi would be his balls.

I saw Gillian the other day, when I was at JP shopping for winter wear. She was dining with a guy at Billy Bomber's. She was laughing happily while the listening to the guy talk. It seemed like the ideal scenario that she always wanted. The guy would chat her up and engage her in interesting conversations. Something that I nv seem to do as good as how she wants. At least I'm glad to see that she can be happier with someone else than with me. Even if things dun work out, at least I know she's happy now. Anyway, me n my mysterious luck at work again. On my way to JP I was just thinking if I might meet anyone there. Gillian did cross my mind cos she told me she saw me at JP b4 last time when I was with Min. Then indeed I have to see her.

Saw my airport sweetheart Lorraine at the perfume shop again. We said "Hello". =(

Why?

2005-11-28T10:25:00.000+08:00

Jessie is on my mind the whole day. Why?

Famous Quotes From BPGHS

2005-11-26T13:46:00.000+08:00

"I just scrub it clean last week, this week it became black again" Ruili, when asked y his dick is so black.

"Country road, take me home. To the place, I beLONGGGGGG... WEST VAGIINNAA!!! Mountain mama, take me home, country road" Tingyou, during sec 3 NPCC campfire.

"My name is ... Braaaba" Braba, during sec 1 self introduction. (The class goes: Huh?? simi bra??)

"Now, we will sing the BUGIS song" Jiamei, asking the juniors to sing the Boogie song during NPCC campfire.

"Father IBRAHIM, has seven children.....~" Jiamei again, refering to Father Albraham.

"You know what sperm looks like or not?" unknown challeneged Zhongyi. "Of coz lah! Look like soya bean like that loh" Zhongyi retort. (So viscous???)

"What do you see?" Yibao, asking Nose to peek thru the curtains to look out for passerbys, while gambling in my room.
"2 pairs of socks" Nose. (........................)

"When got spot check? My hair very long" unknown
"Hair where?" Azlina.
"............." unknown.

"你觉得XX怎么样?" Zhixiang, asking Hanxi.
"Ok ah, not bad" Hanxi
"你想不想DIAO她?" Zhixiang
"...................." Hanxi

To be added on...

Pics From Shanghai

2005-11-19T15:48:00.000+08:00

Finally resolved my pathetic hp cam's MMS settings. Been having trouble sending the pics I took to my email when I finally realised y. My MMS settings change to Starhub settings when I tried using my Starhub line to send MMS with that hp. So I gotta call up M1 service line to request for the M1 settings again. So now..... all the gorgeous pics I've been holding back for so long can finally be revealed ! Heh... as if a VGA hp cam can take what kinda gorgeous pics.

Let's start with my 1st China trip...

Alrite, I know you all r gonna say it's spastic to take pic of my hotel room. But come on, this being my 1st official businees trip. Kinda memorable ya? So trying to bring back bits n pieces of memories any way I can. Ok... eh.. so as any idiot can tell, this is my bed.

This is my bed again, in a slightly ruffled state. And NO, it's not cos I've had a nookie with some china chick. But in any case, notice the glass pane beside the bed?
U can actually see the silhouette of what's in the bathroom thru it. I can imagine a scene where I'm on the bed admiring the curves of whichever lady's in the shower, awaiting her to finish and then we proceed to ......... play chess and then read a magazine together.

Eh... next is my workdesk in the hotel room which I'm ashamed to say that I did not utilise at all. I haven got my lappie yet then. (Well, the lappie refused to work on my 2nd trip even though I tried to use it)

This, is the seat of sin. I would sit on this couch by the window at nite b4 turning in, smoking my china cig, having a drink of eh... pepsi (Shucks, it's in the pic. otherwise I would've said wine) and enjoying the scenery. What scenery u say? Well.. this:

Ok ok, I know this isn't exactly world class scenery (or photography for that matter), but it does offer a nice view over that part of Shanghai. (Staying on the 23rd floor helps) Anyway, I've always loved overlooking vast expanse of areas, especially city areas.

Ok, some gimmicks from Shanghai. This is their famous Zhong Hua cigs. It actually cost much much more than Malboro in Singapore. More than 2 times the price, when I saw it at the duty free zone. Another thing; they dun seem to have menthol cigs in China. Forced to smoke their lights, which was quite apalling at first until I got used to it.

Next, these seemingly innocent looking business cards actually hide some hideous secret. They are disguised as business cards for airlines, but in reality its for call gals. And how do I know that? (I din call, u idiot) My colleague who has the honour of several extended stays in Shanghai let me in on that trick. These cards are distributed by little kids on the streets. By little kids, I mean pre-pubescent teens, who will attempt by all ways and means to maneuver the cards into ur hands. I once walk thru a bunch of them, only to realise they even manage to slip them into my pants pockets and bag and everywhere.

And lastly, 2 pics I took on my 2nd trip there. Saw this little garden with a wooden water wheel and bamboo growing by the sides. Its actually at the ground floor lobby of the sleazy hotel I'm staying at, and it looked rather nice. So just tot i'll snap some pics of it.

Coffee, Tea Or Ghost?

2005-11-18T04:56:00.000+08:00

Back in my seat, fresh and wide awake after a steaming cup of mocha. Well not exactly fresh, but better than how I've been feeling all morning at least. 1 late nite with Date With Vampire 2 left me in this state, not much better off than a vampire in need of blood. Anyway, yesterday I tried something that I've nv done b4 in my 25 years of existence....

I drank coffee !!!

Of coz not the iced mochas or cappuccino or fuckuccino from Coffee Bean or Starbucks. I mean a normal hot cup of coffee. (Ok, it came out from a vending machine, but so what?) That was my 1st cup of coffee in 25 years. (Lizzy must be reaching her millionth or billionth cup by now. Major coffee freak she is) Heh... so sua ku hor? Nv drink coffee b4.

Remember when I was young, (I mean really toddler kind of young.... ok, maybe ard 5-6 yrs old) Mum used to like to drink coffee. So just for the sake of going against her and being irritating, Zai and me would pretend that coffee is the most disgusting and foul-smelling beverage in the world. (She was always chiding us for drinking coke too, ya see?) Anyway, my resentment for coffee is not without reason. The 1st time Mum asks us to have a taste, well..... it tastes bitter. The only taste that a 5-6 yr old kid likes is sweet. (Or is it just me? I know I've got a sweet tooth) So my first taste of coffee brought a grimace to my face. Next, Ronald MacDonald, Hamburglar and Birdy turned up too. Alrite, that was corny.

Anyway, just to digress a bit... speaking of Grimace... April used to say I reminded her of Grimace. (Or Winnie The Pooh on other days) And I would tell her she's Birdy and Lewis is HamBurglar then. Been some time since I saw her, just wonderning how she is doing. She somehow reminds me of a ball. Ok, this is not suppose to sound mean. She is just so... round, bubbly and bouncy. Sth like the wink in msn of the bouncing smiley face. Full of sunshine.
Ok, enough abt Grimace and bouncing balls... get on with the story.

Now.... what story? Yeah rite, The Mystery Of The Coffee Phobia. 1st Investigator - Jupiter "Andy" Jones, 2nd Investigator Pete "Lewis" Crenshaw, Records & Research - Bob "Eugene" Andrews. Heh... I'm so crappy, tot this up on the spot, but their physical description does match us quite accurately. Oh well, so after that I've repulsed coffee all my life. Until that fateful day yesterday....

Anyway, I had another cup today. I hope I dun get addicted to coffee. How uncool, man ! Hahaha... Well, the reason y I took coffee again today.... cos I'm really feeling like shit. Attempted to doze a while in front of my monitor, when it happened..... I attained nirvana and mastered the ability to achieve mental orgasms. Alrite, as most of you can probably tell by now, the previous sentence is crap again. So what really happened is that... I lapsed into sleep paralysis.

For 1st timers to this phrase, let me try to describe this sympton to the best of my ability: It is a state when you are sleeping (or rather, not sleeping but trying to) and u suddenly realised that u r not able to move, or to even open ur eyes or make noise. Basically, as the name implies - paralysis. Then there is this horrible sensation of sinking; sinking into where? God knows. Sth like sinking into limbo. If there really is limbo, I would think that is how it feels. Stuck in a dimensionless world. It would take tremendous energy (or is it will?) to make myself move an ounce and break out of it. I've been proned to these lapses for many yrs, the 1st time was when I was still in sec sch. Dun ask me what causes it, I have no clue at all, though I suspect its due to an unusually high sex drive... Nah, it usually happens when the mind is tired and the body refuse to sleep.

Anyway, my 1st encounter with it was ...... terrifying. When I finally broke out of it, the feeling of tiredness was like a wave that swept over me. Prompting me to close my eyes immediately, and drop into the abyss all over again. I gotta force myself to sit up and shake the sleep out of my head b4 carefully treading on the path of sleep again. For some time, I tot this was what they called being "pressed" by ghost, or sth supernatural. 1 time when I was suffering a lapse again, I was determined to find out who or what is causing me all this discomfort. I forced my eyelids open as wide as possibly, (those 2 seemingly thin pieces of membrane felt like it weigh a ton) n tried to catch sight of whatever ghost that might be pressing on me. It was that I tot I saw it! There was a black silhouette upon my chest, looking like a man/woman's head covered in a hood. (some jungle Ku Klax Klan shit)

Then i tot, "This is it! I'm so gonna give it to u when I break out of this. Just u wait and see!" So I did break out of it and regain control, only to discover what's on my chest was ntg but my pillow. The corner of it seemingly to look like a man's head covered under a hood. Oh well, that's spells the end of the supernatural links I had with sleep paralysis. Anyway, it was far from spooky everytime it happens. Just damn fucking irritating. Can't a man get some good sleep when he most needed it?

Demise Of The Quails

2005-11-12T16:23:00.000+08:00

Well, my surviving quail died as well. Without me ard again. This one is actually a grand old age of 5 yrs old. I guess what they say is true. When an animal loses its partner of long, it usually loses its will to carry on living as well. It started making soft squeaking sounds of late, as opposed to how it used to scream like a rooster. And finally 1 day I came home to hear from Mum that it has died. Now the spot in the kitchen looks kinda weird, without its cage which has been there for 5 yrs.

I spent this week in a zombie-like state, especially every morning on my long train rides to work. Guess its the after effects of last week, where we had a holiday every alternate day of the week. Mon, Wed and Fri nites all seemed like a good nite for clubbing. Mon was Hallowean; lotsa Hallowean parties everywhere. Then Wed was a good time to crash Mambo at Zouk. Fri is just as good as any other Fri for a nite of wild clubbing. End up only went Devil's Bar on Fri nite with Eugene and Qixiao. Lewis joined us a while later with a grp of his RV frens. Cuixia joined us even later in the nite. Somehow, seeing her always make me happy. The ever cute and cheerful little gal. She happened to know Tricia as well.

Talking abt clubbing.... We were actually refused entry at Thumper the week b4. Eugene, Kim Wen and I were in the queue when the door bitch decide to check our IC and declared us as "underaged". Wtf. 28 yr old for guys. Seriously, this is shit man. Most prob she just decide to refuse us cos we looked like we're not going to be spending a lot of money in there. When was the last time that I've been refused at a club?? Only once ever at Chinablack, when their age limit was still 22, and I'm 21 at that time. Anyway, Kim Wen said he'll set up Humper just beside Thumper. That got me thinking of our Tonite club with Eugene and Lewis. The club we said we'll set up when we're making big bucks next time. It still seem like a possible venture. I wun give up the dream. Haha.

Of Purple And Cyan Shirts

2005-10-26T11:05:00.000+08:00

Today morning, I left house in a rather cheery mood cos I'm wearing my new purple shirt (yeah, I do feel happy when wearing new clothes) that I bought from G2000. But I realised a horrific truth when I reached the interchange.

My attire is exactly the same as the Tibs bus drivers ! Purple long sleeve shirt with black pants ! Even the tone of the purple colour is exactly the same. Damn. I quickly move thru the interchange at my fastest walking pace, taking care not to walk too close to any of the bus drivers, so as not to blend in. This is just so niao. And come to think of it, my other new shirt kinda resembles the SBS bus driver uniform... cyan... ARgghhhhhhhh !

On another note, my quail died while I was away in Shanghai. Y do they always seem to die when I'm not ard? My other quail died while I was in Thailand yrs ago. Just as well I guess, save me any form of sadness had I have to take care of the disposing after its gone. Just for the record, it did not have a burial and the eggs were thrown away cos we dun dare to eat them.

My last Shanghai trip was......impromptu. Tue morning n boss ask me to catch the evening flight there. There was a slight scare at the airport when I checked in already and they called to tell me they haven gotten me a room. I contemplate bunking in with my storekeeper at the warehouse had I really gone roomless but luckily they found me a cheapskate hotel in the end.
The facilities are not too good to put it in a nice way.... I got a bedside lamp that doesn't work and a leaky tap. 1 good thing is a got a fantastic view of the........ AIRPORT! Haha. Just out the window is the parking place for their domestic flights. Oh ya, and I get to walk to work since our warehouse is just a few steps away. The weather feels just rite at first, the streets feel like its air-conditioned. Till the last day when I'm shivering when I'm in the open.

Time To Go...

2005-10-18T15:05:00.000+08:00

I think my little quail's dying... she can't seem to walk properly no more, floundering abt on the floor most of the time. It's a pitiful sight, but i guess it's abt time too. She's a good old 4 yrs old already, and bore almost 100 over eggs. Somehow, I've got a special attachment to her, mainly cos I bought her from the Teck Whye bird shop 4 yrs ago. It seemed that it was destinied for me to buy her; My yellow quail having just died some months ago, and I happen to chance upon her at the pet shop, somemore just 1 single quail on sale that day. After which I've nv seen them sell anymore quails.

Dinner & Dance? ..... Nah...

2005-10-15T01:35:00.000+08:00

It's been a hectic week. I realised holding this position mainly revolves ard having lotsa contacts and knowledge. Not forgetting the ability to push pple to get what u want. I feel that I'm under-performing. I'll still need some time b4 I can run the one-man-show like my colleague beside me.

Anyway, y r there so many pple interested in the DnD ??? Just to ans some queries. It's actually less of a DnD than I tot. It turned out to be just a company function lunch, preferably at a hotel near some mrt station. (At this pt, I welcome suggestions for hotels to come in, but they gotta be fast. I have to book it soon. Last yr we had it at Hotel Rendezvous. So suggestions for hotels shd be in line with this level of hotel class pls) So to speak, there will be no need for a partner. However, if anyone wishes to volunteer as a partner, I'm keeping the nite free for going out. =)

Sigh, sad to say, I've nv been to a proper DnD where u have to bring a partner. Wonder when I'll have the chance for such an occasion. I wonder more who I can ask to be my partner. haha. Hopefully, she'll be in red. Then I can serenade her with the song "Lady In Red"

The lady in red is dancing with me cheek to cheek

There's nobody there, it's just you and me, it's where I wanna be

But I hardly know this beauty by my side

I'll never forget, the way you look tonight.